To: Ross Cummings at BJ Services Company Canada

That was a letter I had to send out yesterday. I'm not even exadurating one bit. I couldn't keep a straight face the whole time sending.
That guy must get taunts every day. If he isn't used to them by now, he'll probably snap pretty soon.

Well this week was much better than last week, even though it has been busy at work. RWS birthday was on the 27th so we all went to the pub and had a few. We sang stuff...And we had a good time for the most part. She is still feeling like crap but all I can do is give her my best...Like I would give anything else where she is concerned anyhow.
I found a Bee in my room yesterday. Only trouble is, the window wasn't open. This is the second one I have found since I have lived at this place, so how the hell are they getting in? It's a bit disconcerting if you ask me, and the trouble is I have a fear stretching back to childhood of bee's and wasps. Bees are ok...What's the worst thing the can do? Sting me?...But still I flinch:P and Wasps well...I can't stand those up tight protestant fuckers!

Well my birthday is coming up in a couple of days, and I hadn't really planned on doing anything. But RWS wants me to go to her house for dinner. That's good enough I figure. yay 28.
I also figure I'm going to shave my head. I know that comes out of bugger all no where but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Maybe a change must be made. Maybe its because its getting thin up there and its going to look stupid soon....yay vanity. I don't know but I figure it will probably work. Maybe I'll do that sometime this weekend.

I am however seeing Ministry on Saturday the 3rd. That's going to kick ass. I just picked up the new album and its bloody brilliant. Another excellent burn of George W. And it sounds pretty good too. Ministry is a band I always wanted to see live, I can't wait to see how much energy is going to be produced....Dear lord I hope I'm not killed by rivitheads.

On the 1st I'm having Dinner at Arks house with his wife Squirrel and Depaxus. RWS will be there as well. I think it is a birthday thing as well as they are going to have cake and what not. It will be nice to spend an evening with them I'm sure.

Anyhow, That's all for me. I'll try to get a picture up here of me looking all Nosferatu....(bald)

Peace Out.

I Want to believe, In The Mercy of the World Again, Make It Rain..

Well this weekend was interesting.

Runswithscissors and I went to a fetish/burlesque Fashion show at a club called the warehouse. The performances were mediocre at best, but the music was ok and we ran into some Interesting people.

And we both looked fucking sexy....

So mostly fun was had by all, but unfortunate RWS was feeling a little run down, and it got worse as the weekend progressed. Not fun for her, and not fun for me, as all I want to do is help in some way but I really can't. Well I'm here if she needs and that is good enough. I also had my own depression to deal with.

The writing is slumping, I feel like everything is. The spark of primal energy that drives creativity just isn't burning brightly enough for me.

So many things I would like to do, and I should be driven to pursue them but I find lately that nothing is coming out, nothing is happening.
It was one of those weekends where you want to cry...And you will if you don't hold it in...But you don't know why. You feel something but you don't know what it is. Usually, I just cry and get it over with, I feel that sometimes my body releases stress that way cause I tend to feel much better afterwards. But I feel like such a tit doing it for no reason :P

HoHum

Well, RWS Dad had a few suggestions for me, which actually helped because what I have seen of his writing is pretty damned good.

I still don't know where my main focus lies artistically and that is annoying.

I turn 28 on the second and I see people 10 years younger than me knowing what's what and going with it. They know their thing and they are lucky. I still feel like I'm drifting.

Enough whining? ABSOLUTELY!!

When I'm not depressed I know that my talents are multi faceted. I know I have options, and I know that it doesn't matter how old you are or anything. If you push hard enough eventually something will move.

things will be alright I think, but man, what I wouldn't give to have RWS well and healthy. If the forces are listening and want some sort of sacrifice let me know. Blood,a body part...Whatever man as long as she can live a healthy life with out any of this crap :P

heh...If I sent an Astral telegram just now the response would be something like this I think.

Got your sacrifice Stop

It was lovely Stop

She was not a virgin as you though but it's the thought that counts Stop

Quit being such a ninny! Stop

Do you know how often we get this crap?! Stop

We're trying to watch the Match Stop

Just do what you can Stop

Piss off Stop


Anyhow, I am to come into work an hour earlier than usually because my supervisor, Mail Lady is gone on the hellidaze. I wonder how much we can bugger this week up, hence I've only been here for 2 months, and out of the 3 of us left here(Me, the Gypsy and the new girl I name Sparky the temp due to her enthusiasm and the fact she is a temp)I am the most experienced.. I must go.....stuff......always stuff.......

Some people get by, with a little understanding. Some people get by, with a whole lot more........I want More....

I just rolled out of bed. It has occurred to me that I haven't written one of these in a while, for shame. I have though been quite busy after all.

Tonight I am supposed to attend a burlesque/fetish fashion show night, at one of the clubs here in town, and since I haven't dressed up in a while I'm quite excited about it. RWS seems to be as well, which is of course, a good thing.

I feel like I should be writing something important or relevant but meh, I'm just not sure anymore. Maybe it's because I just rolled out of bed. Yes, perhaps it's that.
When your life changes drastically over just a few months a lot of things seem to come into perspective. It's one of those feelings, where you know a chapter in your life is over and another begins. Sometimes it's bigger than that. Sometimes it's like you've started a whole other book.. Over all you know you made the right decisions for you, and that things are better (if in fact that is what happened to you, sometimes it's the exact opposite) there is still a lingering sense that things aren't quite normal yet. You feel it in the mornings, and sometimes before you go to sleep, among other random times this feeling pops up.
Some people life's change so much they never stop having that feeling.

Change is good though, and I'm not going to fight it. Things will settle eventually, at least to a point where things can be called, normal again. Wow, that was a ramble, and it didn't make a whole lot of sense, or maybe it did.

Maybe it's because I just rolled out of bed.......

despite the the odd bits of"limbo feeling" here and there...Everything is pretty peachy I must say :)

There is still a small part of me that wonders if I deserve it. It doesn't matter.

Life is what you make it ultimately, and its sure as hell not about what you deserve.

I'll count my blessings, never take them for granted, and try my best to live a good life and not hurt anyone. That's all anyone can do I spose....But now, It's time to put on some Nick Cave, scrape the hair off my face....And give myself a long loving rinse.......

"Hey guys! Is this your Frisbee?" " Is it orange?" " No it's blue" "Yep that's ours.."

We were in the park one evening this week, RWS and I, and along with some hippy companions, we met these girls that were either High, stupid, or both, and that's the conversation we had with them.

Funny shit.

These girls also asked us if we had cronic to which we said no. This would have been fine except for the fact they asked us 4 more times after that.

Anyhoo, here is an update.

Work has been so so, but a few new things have happened I suppose. Chotch-O-Matic is gone......Long live Chotch-O-Matic.
But we did get a new mail girl in.

She will be thus named, The Gypsy. Here is why.

She is from Bulgaria, she is dark, fairly cute, and has this kick ass accent.
This combined with her soft spoken and quiet demeanor thus far leads me to believe she is a threat somehow. She smiles at me a lot, and that puts me on edge too. Although what the hell do I know, she's only been here 3 days. I may be over reacting. But I don't trust those Gypsy types, especially when they're charming. ;)

I had an interesting encounter with a Driver today, goes something like this.

Driver = "what's Your name?"

Me = "It's Fictional Correspondent"

The driver starts laughing a deep and insanity touched laugh, then stops and with a straight face says.

"Are You Serious?"

(Note I didn't actually say Fictional Correspondent, I said my real name, which is much less interesting, I figure I should explain this for my slow geared readers)

Me = "Yes Has been that way for Damn Near 28 years, Why am I in some sort of trouble?"

Him = "Not Today"

Me = "Oh......Alright then,,,"

It turns out that he just didn't know me and I wasn't in his database, therefore he did a little freak out when he didn't know who I was. No Biggie. This guy was pretty funny.

The other day I got a Driver describe to me a delivery he made and while he was on it he saw this guy on rollerblades carrying groceries. According to the driver this guy wasn't too graceful and this driver explained how he was backing his van out of a driveway and watching this guy coming straight for him. He wasn't going very fast but as soon as his van was out enough to block the sidewalk, he saw El Rollerblader panic and at about 2 miles an hour ran into the van.

This story is much more amusing when the driver tells it, as he is running around acting it out as it happens. Picture a Hippy in his 50's, thin, looks like what Dr. Hook sounds like,acting out a clumsy roller bladder hitting the side of a van at the speed of slow and then laughing about it. It's pretty god damn funny.

Well that's my week so far and I'll sign off with some Iggy Pop Lyrics.

"Well I'm gona keep on walkin
In the Modern World
Which justifies every egotistical perversion
With Scientific Talk
And New ways to walk

So for now I'll say So Long...

I gota Go do Wrong......"