When Life Gives You Lemons, You Clone Those Lemons, and Make Super Lemons.

Other than my advice on my last post I don't really know if I have anything interesting to report.

I know in my first entry I kind of eluded to the fact that some times I just don't know what the fuck is going on. I find myself in one of those times again.
Don't get me wrong, I know who I am and I generally know what I want to do in my life, but sometimes a plan derails , or it reveals a whole lot more obstacles than you thought it would. Normally I would just consider it another challenge but I find myself lost.

The Problem.

I was planning to go to school for radio broadcasting. They have a course here for that, but I just found out that it isn't as accessible as I thought it was. I have been trying to get into the program for the last 2 years but to no avail due to screw ups and other stuff. It means I have to wait a whole other year, and I thought this year would be the one. I would have my shit together(...As always) and get in. I did everything I screwed up doing last year. Then new info came to light.
I found out I was one of 450 applicants and there were only 40 spots available.

Bugger.

I first thought it was a first come first serve deal, but it wasn't. It helps to get it in soon but it also helps to have a good resume to show them that you are committed to a career in the field. I had no such luck with that.

So, a friend in a far away town suggested I investigate the schools there and consider a move. So I did, and found out it was even harder to get into the schools there. Its not worth a big move for that. So it appears I am stuck here.

So, my next objective is to make a resume by getting my ass out and giving a damn right?

Then why am I so apathetic about it right now? The drive seems to not be there. In fact a lot of drives seem to be right out of petrol.

I A. Sleep
B. Watch T.V.
C. Try to eat right and get out once in a blue moon.
D. Nothing Else

The most creative thing I have done is get my head into Storytelling Vampire The Requiem for a few chums of mine. Don't get me wrong, I love it! But I can't concentrate on only that. I would love to Finnish an RP world of my own and possibly run with that, but that's only one option, and since my enthusiasm for anything else is pretty stumped I'm not sure what to do.

Well, all I can do is ride it out I suppose and exercise my brain and body when I can until I get out of this. My fiance helps too, but as she is in another country , sometimes its tough. That's a whole other story.

I'm at a point right now where I'm only starting to know what I'm good at, and I'm only starting to know what I really want to roll with in life.

I'm turning twenty fucking seven in 5 days!

At least when I do watch T.V., or Read I find inspiration there and new ideas form, and that should count for something. As long as I don't let the bastards grind me down I should be fine. I will move into their midst.....Confident.......Composite and Finite.........And they won't be able to touch me, cause I'm the NIHILISTIC FUCKING ALCHEMIST BITCH!!!

You Better Axe Some Body...

P.S.

To those of you who have a big responsibility coming into their life, its time to start facing the truth. Some of it awful, some not. But face it you must.

Another Thing.

If someone loves you( I mean really loves you, not just a "Love you Bro" thing) don't take that shit for granted. Consider yourself lucky to even have some one in your life like that when some people don't have a pot to piss in. You got it easy compared to some. If you have someone like that it means something. It means that no matter what happens to you, that person will be there. They won't be there for themselves, they will be there for you. There are people who go their whole lives in search for this and don't find it. Do us a favour and appreciate it.

Make a choice and someone may suffer.

Make no choice at all and everyone will.

....I Got My Shit Together?

The universal answer to this title is No.

For Me.

The dilemma is this. I have several people around me who I KNOW don't have their shit together, but compared to what? Me?
We all got our problems. That's for sure.

that's the fun life has to offer. You make a plan and then life throws a berage or wrenches into it, making it a better plan or a worse one mostly depending on your point of view.
But in the end its what you make of it.

Now that that is said, I'll point out a few things that life has taught me.

They could be wrong in your opinion I suppose but that just means your an idiot.

What I've learned about relationships.

If you are going to leave one, make sure you discard any baggage you picked up in it. I know its hard to know when this is sometimes but for those of you who need a pointer I have one. Wait a bit before you get into another one. There is nothing worse then entering a relationship right after you exit one. You have to give yourself some time to adjust to being by yourself again. Once you have gone through all the pain and dealt with it, you're ready to move on. Its no good when you bring your baggage for some other unfortunate soul to deal with. So stop listening to your loneliness and emotions all the time an just be responsible.

If you can't take it DON'T FUCKING DISH IT OUT!

This to me is called Psychological Karma. If you are stealing stuff, don't get all bent out of shape if some one does it to you. If you are doing it, it's bound to happen to you. So if you play with fire, don't cry when they're giving you skin grafts.

Do no harm.

This is simple. Its easy to destroy things. It is not easy to create.
Give everything that has the spark of life in it it's respect. This includes ants, slugs, and any other "menial" creature on the planet. If you don't have to kill it , don't. I admit, I've killed things in my day, and sometimes still do, but that's a fault I'm willing to admit. But I try to fallow this rule as much as I can.

Don't Be Such A Dickhead.

Stop complaining so much. Stop making a fuss when there is no need.
Cut the other guy some slack. In the end the anger will go away.
Use the energy to do something useful and positive instead of sucking all my energy away complaining constantly about your stupid problems and then not doing a damn thing to improve your life. These are the dickheads that don't know how good they have it.

I get depressed a bit too(See my first post and you'll realize why) but I deal and move on. I, aswell as many Dickheads have a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in at night, Food, Internet access, telephone, aswell as DVDs, CDs, and alike. There are people in the world that are happy if they don't starve for a day.
So stop fucking whining and do something to improve your"battered" state. Maybe while you're at it you can help someone else.

Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down!

People will walk all over you if they can. Life is too short to be yeller.
I find this rule difficult myself sometimes but, you got to keep your wits about you and stand up for yourself. If that telemarketer calls, tell him his mom is a cunt! You got to be firm with those people.
If people are pushy, push the fuck back! The more you relent, the more they will try to assert themselves over you.
Mistakes are just learning experiences, so if you fail, get back on the rhino. Tali HO!

I don't really have that much else to say right now. I admit, I'm not a guru of any kind but these are just a few things that I think have value.

Dig It.


P.S.
Pimps, Be kind to your bitches.