More About a Worthless dilemma

Things are alright, I'd have to say.

I'm not homeless, and I eat everyday. Even junk I like to eat.

Which brings me back to the dilemma....

Its been at least a month since the incident with my game happened.
If you had not read the post it is labeled"Tick Fucking Tock"

My decision about a problem player I had was to just kick her out of the game. Reasonable right? But after a few weeks, anger doesn't really stick on me. I cool down real quick and now I'm pondering whether I should boot her ass out or not. Here are my reasons for actually pondering this.

1.She is leaving in 2 months. - which means that there really aren't many games to go if I do mine bi-weekly. I'm still going to have a talk with her, but because of this only 2 months left thing I would simply ask if she wants to stay or not. She will get a talking to though, there is no doubt. I'll let her know how the whole thing made me feel, and see if it actually taps into anything or not with her.
I'll be amazed if she actually acknowledges she did anything wrong.

So instead of possibly creating a problem in this situation I think I'm going to talk to her calmly but still chew her out a bit. I actually do have balls believe it or not;)

The dilemma though, lies in the fact that the whole thing was bollocks and I SHOULD be angry at her and I SHOULD just boot her out.

I haven't talked to her yet because our new player has been running a game with all of us and I don't want to make shit more uncomfortable than it should be while playing it. The issues are with my game and I think they should be dealt with there.

Although, If I'm going to burn a bridge, I guess this is the best time to do it aswell.

I Love Burning Bridges.

When I'm prepared to have my next game, I'll talk to her and relay it all here. I hope It goes better than expected.

My Vampire Game is going well though, even though I've had some serious blocks with that aswell. But since I don't get any bad vibes off them it all seems ok.

I also need to get off my ass and go volunteer at the radio station. If I can't get into school yet, I should at least do this. I feel that some thing is holding me back, because I keep saying I will and I never do :(

Whatever it is, I'll get past it. If this is something I really want to do than what's the harm?

Anyhow, I'm off for now.

P.S. Check out these kick ass posts. His name is Az, and he teaches English in Japan. You will laugh and cry and laugh and all that stuff I promise.

Dig It.

Internet Radio Station Update

Greetings

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still broadcasting the internet radio station full of Gothic/Industrial and other dark mantras.

Its up to almost 100 hours of music.

Just go to www.shoutcast.com

Then in the Search Box type "Nightmares"

My station should appear with the name "Nightmares, Whispers, and Screams". I broadcast from late monday evening to mid friday afternoon every week.

No big post or anything, just an update.

Also after a long time talking about it, I'll be heading to the college station to actually be on radio, so as soon as I have a real show, I'll give you the web link for that aswell.

Ta Ta Mofo's

P.S.
Thank you to those of you who regularly or unregularly listened to my station before.

Tick Fucking Tock

Its rather early in the morning. I had went to bed but couldn't sleep.

Something happened to me a few days ago that's still on my mind.
Its been bothering me, but I've had a bit to calm down and look at things rationally. Let me explain.

I'm a gamer. Not sports or anything, It means I play Role playing Games or RPG's for short. I have a few friends of mine who I play with online, but this is not a story about them... . . No.

I also have some local players I game with from time to time. This is where my story comes together.

I've known these local guys for about 2 years now and I can say its been fun. There has been a snag here and there but who doesn't have those.
Anyhow I have this game with them usually every 2 weeks or once a month depending on their schedules. The Game that I run is called World of Darkness. Its a contemporary setting with heavy horror and mystery elements to it. I'll name the players using their character names.

Blake. - His character is a vigilante who was formally a member of the Mafia.

Eevie. - A Russian Mob Bosses Daughter and Spoiled Socialite.

Steve. - A Jack of All Trades Thug For Hire and Computer dabbler.

Coner. - A Freelance M.D. that is magnetized to the Unnatural.

We recently got ourselves a new player aswell. Last week in fact.

Ha Ran 'na. - Just a Mercenary For Hire.

Now.

Game seemed to be going alright the past few times. They called me up when they had the time and we got together and rolled some dice, ate some snacks, and confronted weirdness. Then Last week happened.

Before last weeks game, Blake called me up and asked if I wanted to meet a new guy, I accepted and we assembled the whole gang to meet him the next day at Tim Hortons. The Meeting went well and we all seemed to get along. Thus enters Ha Ran'na. We discussed what kind of games we like and so on and so fourth and that lead to the grand prospect of Ha Ran'na running a game for us , aswell as play in mine the next day. We head to Ha Ran'na's house too look at some of his books and then we all went home.

The next day we all assembled for game and it was good. We all had dinner at a restaurant before hand and had some laughs. After we all assembled at Coners house for the game. We made Ha Ran'Na's character while we started off play and everything seemed to start some what smoothly. But allas, as the night went on, I could tell it was going to be one of my bad nights. The only problem with this is, I tend to have a lot of the with the crew.

Lets Clarify Something Now.

Role Playing Games are played with characters that aren't scripted, so there is only so much you can plan and estimate as far as the characters actions are concerned. So you have to be ready to adapt to un expected situations and let me tell you this, some days you're on, and some days well.......You get the idea.

For this group I've had a lot of off days for some reason and this was one of em, but I did the best I could to get some sort of coherent chapter of the story down. On my really off days such as this one, Eevie tends to get in a bad mood. She gets frustrated at my story telling and it shows in her attitude. I've been hit with this once or twice before this, and it wasn't pleasant. It tends to Jolt my game even more. Eevie is also a rather young member of the group, late teens, so sometimes bratty behavior slips out. Her loud sighs of frustration, the rolling of her eyes, that sort of thing. Also the odd smart ass remark. Its not that bad, I thought I knew it all when I was that young too.

Also, I'm tolerant like a MOTHER FUCKER!!

The game went on, and Eevie was on full boar tonight with the attitude, and despite the capital letters above, I was getting less and less tolerant.
I made a few more mistakes, Eevie got more annoying, and FINALLY......The game ended for the night.

Now during all this time I make mistakes and call it some sort of game, the other players seem cool with it. Or they are used to it or whatever.(They keep calling me for more games so......)
However I was wondering what the new guy thought about all this.
I hope he wouldn't run away or call the cops on us or anything, so while I was cleaning up, I went upstairs towards the door to check on him, and apologize for the mess ;)

But I walked up to the door to hear Eevie talking in a hissy raspy voice, so I sauntered in a bit further. I then saw her at the door, venting to Ha Ran'na about how shitty a storyteller I was.

..... . . . uuhh......Ok. I walk up right behind her as she finishes her rant.
she doesn't seem to hear or see me, but I know Ha Ran'na sees me......

Her rant as I heard it consisted of how frustrated she was with me........How I never come prepared......And how everything is always this bungled up........And I have to be forced to draw maps.... And so on and So on.

At this point I kind of want to hit her with a brick. I'll tell you why later in the post, if you couldn't figure it out by now.

I pick this time to say....

Me: "I'm sorry you seem frustrated with my game."
Eevie Jumps
Her: "Er...Yeah I am actually...."
Me:" Oh?...Well if that's the case you don't have to come...I could give a fuck either way"
Ha Ran'na Leaves to go outside
Her:"I was thinking of quitting this game anyway. Like, look at the last few games, we haven't even gone anywhere.."
Me:"Well I do have other things in my life that require my attention"
Her:"My other Storyteller is a fucking archeologist and he's always prepared!"
Me:"Do you currently run a game? No."
Her: Well if I did I would at least come prepared"

I think that was the basic gist. Its not balls on accurate but that's basically how the conversation went, then she went outside.

I now had steam coming out of my ears, AND I was ready to hit her with a brick, for reasons again I will detail later on.

Blake came up the stairs then and everyone said their goodbyes. I was getting a ride home with Blake and since Eevie was his girl friend, guess who was going with us. Steve was with us too, but hes a quiet one.
The whole ride home I could see the crackling of electricity in the car between Eevie and I. Blake didn't see it and proceeded to tell me about the direction his character is going to go in. It lightened the electrical field a bit until we had to stop for a train, and ofcourse......This was one of those LONG waits. A LONG wait in electric silence.

But I got home finally and they sped off. Incidentally Blake always speeds off, its in his nature.
It's amazing my house is in the same condition cause I was mad.

I will dispense the reasons for my rage........................Now.


Lets start with the general rudeness of the incident at the end of the night.

Eevie is frustrated at me, so she is going to vent to the new guy, and in the process make me look like an ass in front of him(If I hadn't already done it myself). That's just rude and immature. If you're going to vent, do it alone or with your boyfriend, not behind my back.
It was also unnecessary. If she wasn't having fun, she should have just quit and stayed silent past that. Its a game after all.

I don't really care what people think, but it was still rude and immature.

Now we can get into some details that I don't think she considered in her haste for frustrated ranting.

As far as not going anywhere, that is the characters fault. Period. That's the kind of game the World of Darkness is. I suspects she hasn't even read the book, let alone ANY RPG book all the way through.

As far as your other storyteller being an archeologist, I have this to say.

I never claimed I was the perfect storyteller, nor even a good one. I have more than one of these games to run. I suspect the other ST doesn't.
I have a complex relationship. I suspect at this time(I happen to know him a bit) he doesn't currently have one of those.

I could be wrong about all of these things, but the point I'm trying to make is that I have better things to think about. Even when I'm thinking about the story, sometimes it just doesn't come, and this could happen for months. Those who actually run games or write stories know this, or "should" know this.

Another thing. Regardless of the reasons, I don't deserve the attitude.

The previous evening Eevie asked me if I could burn a disc with some data files on it for her, so on game day before all this happened, I gave it to her. I didn't ask for a blank disc in return or anything. I still get the attitude.

While we are on the subject of planning and preparation I'll mention this aswell.

Eevie's character had a goal to be a spellcaster in the game. Cool.
So for her benefit, I combed through a lot of books I didn't need to just to extend that thread and made sure her character had a unique quality that none of the others had.

Your welcome sweety :P


This stuff stirred in me for a few days......But eventually the emotional parts burned a little less bright. I decided though that Eevie will no longer be a part of my game.

Fair enough I think. But I know this will cause waves in the group, and that's what's been going through my mind. Several things can happen.

I can hope the next time I see her she just quits, that will solve everything. If I have to tell her to quit well...We'll see what happens.

You all will get an update.

Feel free to comment, I would like to know what your thoughts are.

Now I think I can sleep.