Sexy is Expensive, So I’ll Be a Cheap Tramp Instead

RIGHT!!!

Let’s get down to the good stuff!

SIN

LUST –

I’m having extremely naughty thoughts about a woman at work. Well I have those about a lot of women at work…and on the bus….but there is one woman that I call The Gypsy that is looking better and better every damn day. Bulgarian accent, dark and slim……well, lets just say if Caligula was still around and he found out what I was thinking about, he would have me killed for upstaging him. She is married with a child though, not sure if it is happily or not. Ah well. The Gypsy in my head is probably kinkier anyhow. MMmmmmm

WRATH –

I vented pretty good on my last blog so I’m going to mention something local.
My bloody minded upstairs neighbors. Real wrath seems to come out on the petty things these days anyhow. I have a father and 2 teenagers living above me. The father is this giant fat fuck, who always claims his back is killing him cause of an accident he had a claim on. I’m not disputing he had one or that he hurt his back, I’m just saying that I think he plays it up a lot more than he needs to. He himself isn’t really a bad guy but he’s lazy, we know this because his kids are lazy and his dog is untrained. This dog, Rocko, likes to jump on people and knaw on them for fun. He’s not mean you understand, he just want to have fun rough like. He tore out my room mates screen outside his window. No compensation from lazy fuck. His kids blast fucken Rap Music all the time, and the house vibrates, slightly annoying.
They also leave their clothes on the laundry room floor, so much so that we walk on em. We could make a path but we don’t, cause if you’re going to leave cloths on something made for walking on….then well by golly I’m going to walk on it.
That was kind of lame, so for real wrath, felt by my room mate Jovknee, see “FUCKING ORIGAMI” Don’t parents teach their kids not to be stupid anymore?

PRIDE –

This music thing is working out pretty good actually. We are currently working on 2 songs of his(The man who I hooked up with to play) Neal Visher we shall call him, and we have a few of our own. Putting our minds to things we can produce, considering I’ve been to his house 3 times and each time something new and cool was recorded. Jam sessions and demo’s but still something was done. Now to structure some songs. Neal is planning on entering a music contest and we have to have the songs done by the 16th of October to enter, so by then I should have links to the actual songs we make. Now I must write lyrics though, it’s proving harder than I thought but its coming.

SLOTH

OH OH OH Laaaazyyyy

You Drive Me Craaaazy

This love is Haaaaaazyyyy

So let me go….

-Love and Rockets-Lazy

My room mate and I live in what you might call…a complete shit hole.
Actually its decent but we have no room for anything, and the walls are thin. We also don’t like cleaning. I noticed recently that there was an odd smell in the bathroom. I looked down and it appears our shower has been evolving. Mold in basements is bad and we want to clean it we really do…but we don’t….I’ll try to get some cleaning done tonight instead of playing that bloody video game.
Since this is a SIN post, guess what I’ll be doing tonight, go on, you’ll never guess ;)

ENVY –

A friend of mine has a kick ass job, and by that I mean it pays bloody well, and he recently told me about it. He described a lot of the things I do at my job except there is a considerable pay difference, although he told me to give him a resume, there is PROMISE there!!

GREED –

First, see ENVY, Give me the Casssshhhhhhhhhhh!
Second there is so much music equipment that I want to get with that cash. An electronic drum set to start, and a hell of a lot of mixing equipment. Yay for earthly possessions.

GLUTTONY

*See LUST, except add red wine and carrot cake with cream cheese icing.
There is nothing better than smelling like and being covered in girl sugar and having those 2 things. I don’t think you have to ask what girl sugar is…but if you do it won’t be revealed here….e-mail me or something.

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with me at the moment……maybe it’s the fact that I stir my tea with a letter opener…..glue residue and what have you.

Either way, was an interesting way of telling you things.

Until next time, Keep your friends close and your enemies eaten.

MMMM……Enemies…

Giz Yo Wallet or I sic My Peeplz At You!

It has been a while since I have blogged I know that, but this one is going to be worth while. Go get some coffee or popcorn or what ever you like because this one is a dilly. I have several things to rant about. These things fit into categories suck as, The Bad, The Annoying, and the Reasonably Good.

First off though, How are all of you doing?

If you are doing well then excellent! Well done.

If you are doing fine well…er…Keep it up.

If you are alright but not really leaning towards anything, have some fun. It will cheer you up.

If you’re feeling like crap I apologize and feel free to tell me to mind my own bloody business. Of course, I won’t hear you…probably better that way…..

ANYHOW!

The Bad – Some Topics

911

It has been 5 years since a lot of people died for no good reason in New York City.
So some people thought it would be a good idea to have some sort of tribute or memorial.
I’m all for memorials since I like the mushy stuff at times. One person sent me a memorial the other day. It started off alright, with clips of falling building and peoples faces of the men and women who snuffed it along with a very sad song being played in the back ground, and a few voice clips spliced in for good measure. All was good teary goodness. I have no problems with remembering people who died for no good reason and the men and women and dogs and other things that tried to save them what with them being brave and noble and so fourth.

What I do not like was what came next.

The thing proceeded to show pictures of the very brave G.W.Bush and how he was so composed in the crisis and so very brave handling this whole thing. Then it went on to say how they were going to “git the sunsabitch terrorists”
It turned into some pro Bush pro War dribble, it was horrid.

Now I realize that in this particular incident, it’s hard not to be pissed at someone or not mention the word terrorist. But this is a memorial. To me a memorial is remembering the dead and how stupid and silly it was that they did die, and then we look at the reasons why they did, and in some cases we learn.
On Remembrance Day we remember exactly this, not how great and brave Winston Churchill and the other allied leaders were and how bloody evil Hitler was.
OK I know it’s a stretch comparing the two, but that is what a memorial is to me. It’s disgusting when it is turned into propaganda. Boo Boo Boo I say. One of the things I took away from the whole thing was that if you are going to kill for a god that supposedly loves peace, you’re a bloody looney. If you want to kill yourself fine, I know people who have gardens and they would love the compost, but don’t take others with you. It’s rude and senseless and you’ll have the bastards nagging at you in the afterlife for all eternity.

I bet you never thought about that did you Mr. Suicide bomber?

Also I have nothing against the person who sent me this thing, because as you know, and you know who you are, I think you’re a peach ;) I just have a difference of opinion.

Right, NEXT!

College Shooter Nutter

I don’t even recall his name, but speaking as a leather clad, vampire loving, RPG playing, Marilyn Manson Freak , I can definitely say that some of the people that share these common interests, are one wave short of a shipwreck. But this solemn few also span the rest of the population as well.
When I go out and dress up in the frilly shirts and eye make up and what have you, I’m out there to have fun really and I don’t take myself too seriously, so I don’t see why anyone else would( Considering to most people you look like either a gay Captain Morgan or a leather clad warrior with bright blue pig tails), but they do.

Other than dressing funny and liking music with a lot of crunchy or whiney melodies in it we are like the rest of the population, relatively sane.

So it wasn’t the Rammstein or Doom 3 that hurts and killed those students, it was our old friend Crazy. Remember him?

Crazy Loopy Son of a bitch, and I’m glad they shot him. You can be crazy and not hurt anyone, I’ve been doing it for years but as soon as you bring the hurt, society brings the hammer and now we’re better off.

The lesson? You don’t have to look like a freak to be one.

NEXT UP!!

Now these next two topics got me really shaky in the hope that our pathetic race is actually worth anything. Sure as a race we can justify a lot of things if we are making money, look at oil companies and tobacco companies, but this stuff just made me ill.

Some 16 year old girl decided it would be fun to convince and 11 year old to have sex with about 20 men, from the ages of 12 – 40. You can find an article here.

When you’re in a line up with some of your friends, a line in which at the end has an 11 year old who is giving sexual favours at the direction of her 16 year old friend, at what point do you stop and say to yourself “Hey mate, this is kinda FUCKED UP right here, you think we should stop?” “ No man lets video it instead” “Fair enough”

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

People actually thought this was ok at the time…..and that makes me a very very sad man.
So that depressed me but I guess you get over it like you do. Then I heard about something else, not as bad but still made me wonder why if there was some sort of god, why he didn’t hit us with a big rock from space. Clearly if this kind of thing keeps up, we aren’t going anywhere good.

Apparently there is a video of a sexual assault being passed around from cell phone to cell phone in high schools. The kid that got assaulted goes to this school, and is being made fun of…I can’t find the article at present, if any of my readers find it be sure to post it on the comments.

I must have been asleep when sexual assault started becoming funny. Do we really have to tell our kids that rape is a bad thing now? Do we actually have to really tell them?

To wrap up this section I just want to say that we had better smarten up cause if this is where we are going we don’t need memorials because none of us are worth saving or remembering.

Righto! Lets climb this dismal stairwell and go from Bad, to Annoying, this is slightly more amusing and not nearly as depressing.

Work Wanker

Myyyyy work, is a very very very fine work! …..and so on and so on.

Work is usually relaxed which is a good thing. It’s also a feed or famine thing, you are either really busy or really not busy, fair enough. So when we aren’t busy we can be online and surf. Sweet. That is until the time of the Work Wanker came.

Now my manager Mail Lady was telling him to do some things. He decided not to do these things, which led to a stronger telling by mail lady to do said things once again.
After WW didn’t do them again the telling got VERY stern.
This made WW cross.

At this point I shall let you know that I work for a company called Implex, this company works for another company called Trammel Crow, and this company works for IBM, got that? Excellent!

So WW decides to complain, but does he go to my manager? No.
Does he go to Implex Boss? No.
Does he then go to Trammel Crow Boss? No.
He goes right to IBM and tells them that some of us are taking the piss in the mail room by spending all of our time on the internet. So IBM having no idea what the mail room is like, sends down some orders, saying we is not to use the interweb for more than work purposes.

So our boss comes and tells us all this one day last week, and what does WW do? He fucken complains. Ha Ha Fun Fun.

We just use it anyhow under discretion, if we didn’t we’d be very bored indeed, and you know what happens when people that work for the post get bored(See topic above about shooting). The best part is that WW uses the internet more than any of us. Complete Twit, but that ends that rant.


Alright, now we can move to the good stuff. WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Anyone who doesn’t know how to have fun on weekends, listen very close because you’re about to learn how.

Friday night I caught a movie with my Friend Scoob and his spousal unit. We saw Black Dahlia.
The movie itself was about 50/50 but I love 1940s noir so that atmosphere was pretty good. It was a bit slow in parts but there were some amusing bits that made up for it, as well as seeing burlesque pornography. It was interesting, and I didn’t feel as though I wasted my money, so all in all, good start.

Saturday

That night said friend from movie and his wife hosted a Pirate Pub Crawl in celebration of International Talk Like a Pirate day, which is…today in fact, Saturday is a much better day for a pub crawl I think though. So what do you do in this event?
You dress up like a Pirate, get a whole bunch of your friends and go out drinking! Hell yes!
Beginning of the Night I pop over to Scoobs house. We dress up in our gear and we head out to the first pub. The minute the 3 of us enter there are sounds of AAAAAARRRRRRR from the pub crowd and various odd glances, we smiled, confirmed our reservation and headed to out table where we sat and ate and waited for the others to show up. After about an hour we started to get worried that we were going to be the only ones showing up for this shindig. The waitress thought we were loons.
Then slowly but surely more and more people started to show, we got more and more drunk, and the waitress got more and more amused.:) She was a good sport.
We drank, we AAAARRRRRRRRRed and we made a ruckus. We all had Pirate names. I was known as Captain Byron Flashheart! But not for long…..

My new name was soon to be, Wesley for the evening as I reminded people of Wesley from The Princess Bride. I didn’t mind this and continued on with the evening. I told I pirate joke as well, and it turned out that I would be harassed to tell every living soul we met that joke that night. I suppose you want to know the joke now…..

What, is the most notorious pedophile pirate?

Get ready for it…

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR KELLY!!!!!

Alright enough of that….

We soon decided to get up and go do some actual pub crawling now that around 10 or 12 of us have assembled. Down the stairs we go to find a celtic rock band playing. They heard us coming with all the shouting and AVAST! And ARRRRR. So they played us a song. The Pirates of Saskatchewan by Captain Tractor. So they played the song and we got up on stage and danced around all evening. The audience thought we were part of the bands act.

Then we went out and made a spectacle of ourselves in public going from pub to pub and drinking merrily away. We even got into the Metropolitan Grill, which is this fancy upper class dancy club. We decided after about 5 minutes that that bar sucked, so we left and decided to head back to some of the original pubs we hit that evening. Unfortunately even our Pirate status couldn’t get us into those as the line ups were too big and with only frilly shirts and fake parrots to keep us warm, we now just wanted to find somewhere with heat. Scoob tried to wear a make shift peg leg that broke, so we used it as a change collector for the Pirates Against Sobriety Society. We even got some money out of the deal. $30 as I recall.

We did eventually find some place, can’t remember what it was called, but we had rum, we had duels and we sang and drank the night away.

There are pictures somewhere……ah yes right here

Go to gallery, then to miscellaneous, then its pretty simple from there.

Fun Fun enening!


Sunday.

Earlier in the week I had looked for bands needing singers and what not in a local magazine. I ended up finding one. We had a few beer and one meeting previous to Sunday but Sunday was the day we would get together at his house and practice.

So he picked me up and went to his house. We then proceeded to fiddle with some equipment…..not THAT kind of equipment you sickies!!......and we started recording our stream of practicing only for it to turn out fairly well. We seem to like the same note schemes which makes it easy to meld improved tunes. He liked my stuff, I liked his, and he seems to want to work on stuff I have and new stuff as much as his stuff so there is a lot of potential there. He has a server too that he uploads his music to although I’m not going to give it out here until I have his permission. I heard another artist he is working with too and his stuff is fab as well. Lots of different things to work on and lots of different possibilities. The stuff we recorded is under the name Bipolar Bear. Awesome name!

So, I’m in a band I think, and I have a good feeling its got a lot of different places to go.

Once I get suitable permission, I’ll put the link here and yall can listen to our dibble.

It’s alright, I’m done now you all can relax.

This concludes the Bad, The Annoying, and the Good and thank you for reading.

I’m off…tataaa!!!!!!