Do You Have What It Takes.....To Be VILE?!

Greetings my fellows lurkers and non-lurkers. This Quiz will help you decide if a career in evil is right for you.

Do you have what it takes to be deeply and disturbingly evil? Answer and see!

1. How do you start your morning?

A: Rise as 6 and shower while humming chipper tune
B: Perform vigorous knee bends and enjoy bracing 5 mile jog
C: Hit snooze alarm until hopelessly late for work
D: Sip a cup of coffee, read the newspaper, plot down fall of civilization.

2. Which of the following best describes your talents?

A: People Person
B: Manager
C: Multitasker
D: Snake Charmer

3. What did you want to be when you grew up?

A: Police Officer
B: Doctor
C: Ballerina
D: SUPREME DARK OVERLORD OF ALL MAN KIND!.....or Lawyer.

4. Do you have any pets?

A: Puppy
B: Bird
C: Iguana
D: An aquarium filled with piranhas, electric eels, and killer sharks

5. How do you normally spend your weekends?

A: Hiking mountain trails
B: Watching Television
C: Hanging out with friends
D: Constructing Doomsday devices in the basement

6. What torments you in your worst nightmares?

A: A fiery building from which I cannot escape
B: Monsters with huge teeth
C: Vengeful Ex-lovers
D: Unicorns, rainbows, and puppy dogs with soulful eyes

7. What are your religious beliefs?

A: Christian, Jewish, or Muslim
B: Buddhist, Hindu, or pagan
C: Athiest or Agnostic
D: I am actually an ancient babylonian god awaken from a terrible sleep

8. What would you say is the greatest threat to society today?

A: Crime, Drugs, and Gangs
B: Multinational corporations
C: Nuclear war
D: .....ME!

9. What is your reaction when confronted with a crucifix or holy water?

A: Feel the divine light surround your spiritual aura
B: Contemplate how far civilization has come
C: Chuckles at their ridiculous supernatural beliefs
D: Run away screaming..."IT BURNS!.....IT BURNS!!!"

10. Its the end of the world. An atomic blast has just leveled the cities and destroyed the human race. Mutants walk the streets and the seas have boiled away to nothing. Civilization as you know it is over. What do you do?

A: Vow to some day rebuild society
B: Double over in grief and wait for a merciful death
C: Try to remember the plot to The Road Warrior
D: congratulate yourself on a job well done


Answers

Tally up your answers by counting the number of times each letter was connected to your responses.

Mostly A, B, C -- unfortunately you do not possess the necessary qualities to be a supervillian. Please continue exploring your inner evil and try again next year.

Mosts D's -- EEEEEXCELENT! You are pre-destined to menace society!


Thank you for participating!

If you got what it takes , tune in to the next blog where we will explore how to choose an evil name.

Dig It.

Tips For Being an Evil Doer

I recently finished a book on how to be a villain, and now that I have the wisdom I need to embrace my internal darkness I believe its time to spread a bit around

.The benefits of Being Evil.

Being evil is more than a job, it's a lifestyle! By embracing the dark forces ANYONE can obtain their wildest dreams. Perhaps the single greatest thing about being evil is the equal access and executive level positions.Black, White, green, male or female, nothing can keep you from being a devotee of darkness and rising to the top of the quagmire of destruction!

Power and wealth are not the only benefits though. Servants of darkness, despite the secondary role that the name implies, enjoy deliciously unrestricted creative freedom! Evil knows no boundaries. If you can dream an evil plot, you can do it!, and become a ray of darkness in an otherwise unbearably sunny day.

Evil careers offer extensive supernatural benefits too. Many evil doers develop the ability to manifest themselves wherever and whenever they choose.For those who excel, there is even the possiblilty of IMMORTALITY!!!!!

In the end the most important thing about being evil is feeling good about your bad self.Only then will you walk down the street with pride, smiling broadly as small children in your path abandon their favorite playthings and flee as though approached by a swarm of locusts!

Although its possible to be evil in many vocations, some careers particularly force you to explore your dark side. Some examples are


-Night manager of Deserted Warehouse
-Mad Scientist-Shape Shifter
-Voodoo Princess
-Slave Driver
-Orc, Ogre, or Zombie
-Telemarketer

The next post will include a quiz to see if you got what it takes to be...Diabolical!



Dig It.

CLANG! BOOM! STEAM!

I haven't Posted in a while, I've been confused and alone.(Does appropriate goth sigh) But enough of my banter. I'm here to review a C.D.


Title: Real Gone
Artist: Tom Waits

The first thing I got to say is DAMN THIS IS A GOOD ALBUM!

Seriously I can't say that about too many C.D.'s these days. Tom Waits is back! With his vocals that sound like cookie monster, and music that sounds like he went shopping at a pot factory, and then recorded not in a studio but in an industrial factory.

Now this might sound bad to some, but you gots to know Tom Waits to understand. He puts it together so well, and its damn groovy. His music is sort of Industrial Blues, that's how I describe it anyhow. He's always been one of my favorite artists because his stuff is original and creepy most of the time ;)

My Friend Rimmy digs on him too. He comments here.

http://rimmy.blogspot.com/2004/12/susceptable-to-music-today-it-seems.html

I find this album great to listen to while doing almost anything...Especially if its rigorous labour. I suggest the following tunes from the album.

Shake It

Hoist That Rag

Baby Gona leave Me

Don't Go Into That Barn and,

Metropolitan Glide

Now with names like that how can you not be curious.

These songs as well as many others have a good solid beat, great guitar solo work , as well as appearances by Les Claypool of Primus. Its sets a good solid mood all the way through. It makes you feels as though you were in a world of constant rainy nights, heartbreak, smoky clubs, spooky landscapes with bent and twisted old dead trees, strange dark houses with eerie glows coming from within and so on.

Pick it up if you can.

Dig It.