If I Was a Fish, I Would Invent The Expression, "Drink Like a Fish" That Way I would Not Be An Alchaholic, I'd Be a Fish

Anyhow

Things are about the same as my last blog, except a bit more deviant, and you all don't need to know about it. Instead though, a Fiend of mine sent something through the e-mails, now I didn't want to send another mass e-mail cause I hate them(no offense to sender). I figure I'd just post it on here instead, and yall readers can post your answers if you like, even though you won't cause no one reads this thing anymore,

Fuck you all for that by the way.


1. What is your occupation? Musician/Shipper Receiver/Freelance Concubine
2. What color are your socks right now? White, but I’m not racist.
3. What are you listening to right now? Fields of the Nephilim - Reanimator
4. What was the last thing that you ate? …She was……Devine….
5. Can you drive a stick shift? My bread is not buttered on that side thank you kindly.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? What ever colour Iggy Pop would choose, I’m not racist.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Rimmstalker, AKA The Bishop
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No Choice!
9. How old are you today? Old enough to know myself, Young enough to know fuck all about the world and its workings.
10. Favorite drink? What’s your girlfriends name again?
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Sex, The Sneaker Pimps say it’s just a bloodsport.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Black and purple, and now clear.
13. Pets? A Cat, a fucking fat cat, and again, your girls name?
14 Favorite food? My Enemies
15. What was the last movie you watched and did you like it? Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and I was entertained, not the best flick in the world but, ah well.
16. Favorite month? The Spring and Fall ones
17. What do you do to vent anger? Not what…who..I’m sensing a theme…
18. What was your favorite toy as a kid? Ghostbusters!!
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring ? See #16
20. Cherries or Blueberries? Ice Cream!
21. Living arrangements? I live inside my head.
22. When was the last time you cried? I cry all the time depending, I’m passionate I guess.
23. What is on the floor of your closet? Gnomes! They’re Chained up, and don’t get to leave till they make me a god damned time machine!
24. What did you do last night? See # 17
25.Favorite smells? Woman scent, fake or real/Camp fire/Fear
26. What/who inspires you? Change/Learning/Endorphins
27. What are you afraid of? What I might become
28. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Witches Tit(Contrary to popular folklore, they aren’t cold, they’re warm and soft and taste of moonshine dust)
29. Favorite breed? Red Head
30. Number of keys on your key ring? 6
31. How many years at your current job? 1
32. Favorite day of the week? The ones I don’t respect myself on
33. What states/provinces have you lived? B.C./Alberta/Ontario
34. Favorite holiday? Halloween …..DUH!!
35. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? Just Your mom
36. WHO ARE YOU~(YOUR NAME)- Non Compos Mentis –Always, and Never


Moving on, Here is the Thing!

Dear, You Put The VD in Valentines Day

I only have these words to share with you on a day like this, and they are not even mine. I think the words of Nick Cave are appropriate.

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Get Down get down Little Henry Lee
And stay all night with me
You won’t find a girl In this damn world
That will compare with me

And the wind did howl and the wind did blow
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on Henry Lee

I can't get down and I won't get down
And stay all night with thee
For the girl I have in that merry green land
I love far better than thee

And the wind did howl and the wind did blow
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on Henry Lee

She leaned herself against a fence
Just for a kiss or two
And with a little pen-knife held in her hand
She plugged him through and through

And the wind did roar and the wind did moan
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on Henry Lee

Come take him by his lilly-white hands
Come take him by his feet
And throw him in this deep deep well
Which is more than one hundred feet

And the wind did howl and the wind did blow
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on Henry Lee

Lie there, lie there, little Henry Lee
Till the flesh drops from your bones
For the girl you have in that merry green land
Can wait forever for you to come home

And the wind did howl and the wind did moan
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on Henry Lee

--Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Henry Lee


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Happy Lovin or what ever it is you humans do now a days.


And now for you Educational Ghetto Moment


Jimmy Hat!

It Keeps da AIDS away
Slip it on da pink harpoon
And boogie all damn day!!

Why is it that 18 Year Old Girls Have Way More Tattoos Than I do?

…And please for Gods sake don’t ask me how I know that…It’s been an interesting few months…

HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!!!!!!

I sure hope it will be for us all. Lets see, I know it’s been a while so let’s start with……

New Years Eve.

I thought New Years would be a problem for me, as New Years the year before was somewhat, … . . .Eventful lets say. But I was alright, I had a lot of fun and met some interesting people, some I chased until I got a chance to pounce, some I didn’t, but that is yet another story.
The night was a blur though, I remember my friend and band mate Neal putting Jagermeister in my Jameson Irish Whisky, and then……nothing……

So….fun night all round.

NEXT!

Work has been work, but some things have happened there. Work Wanker continues to strive for the #1 Lazy Cunt award, and I’ve been here long enough that it seemed like raise time. I asked my supervisor if this was possible, and she said the Head Honcho’s from Ontario were coming to see us and that she would ask on my behalf. I was excited.
The next day I got some interesting news.

No Raises…..ever….and my Supervisors wage was being cut by .50c.

Well you could just imagine how much we were fuming at that, well it turns out the next day they decided to change their minds after we reminded the eastern bastards that we could find a job here with at least double our salary in less effort than it takes fry a sausage….in HELL!
So I am getting a raise, and my supervisors wage isn’t getting cut, which is brilliant.

Other than that, nothing much going on that front.

AND!?!?!

Neal and I, are going to have a disc completed by April! Woooo!
We have about 12 out of 20 potential songs finished. But Neal keeps on making more tunes, and they’re good! So it’s hard to concentrate on the ones we’re already doing.
So if anyone wants a copy of our fine tunes, leave a comment! I’m excited!!
Man we’re already starting to live the rock and roll lifestyle and we’re not even popular. We have groupies! Well one of them is Neals girl, but Neals girl has a sister. So we get together and have a few dozen drinks and weekends are, slightly odd but damn fun!
One night Neal let me and his girls sister use his room…..TO SLEEP IN!! …yes….that’s right……

Anyhow we hear him doing something to the door, so Sister Girly goes to check it out and I hear this…BLAM!!!..”OOOWWWWW GOD DAMN!”
Neal was doing mischief with the door, not sure how but the above antics ensued 4 more times! So we would hear scratching, Sister girl gets annoyed, she gets up to see what’s going on and BLAM!! “ OOOWWWWW FUCKEN HELL”
Neal got hit by the door about 4 times before it finally stopped.
I get up to take the piss in the middle of the morning….so I open the door and……

Clink!

The hell? The door isn’t opening……I look down and notice there is a chain strapped to the outer wall and the door. The Bastard Neal, went and took his security latch off his front door and bolted us inside!

Weird fucker!

I rip it out of the wall and take my much needed piss, feeling odd about the whole shenanigan. Things like this happen when you’re destined to be rock gods I suppose.

On another note…….no pun intended…

WE GOTS A NEW HOME!!!

Well, not really, but here is the story.

You love stories dontcha bitch! Huh?! Yeeaahh you like it……Take it all!!

Our upstairs neighbors, they did a midnight move. Fun stuff….we were glad cause they were annoying and what not, previous blogs have info. If they were a band they would be called “The Absolute Cunts Absolutely”. I know that word didn’t have to go in there twice but I think it accentuates the importance of a particular fact.

They’re Absolute Cunts.

Anyhow they left the place a Mess so Jovknee and I go up to see the place.
It was a disaster, they left the place in pretty bad shape. It’s a pretty nice place though we thought, if it was clean. Jovknee and I got the Idea then to pitch to our landlord, that if the place was fixed to an extent we would take it for them as the place wasn’t a basement for once, and didn’t smell of cat piss.
The landlord agrees.
So now we got ourselves a 3 bedroom house. We’re waiting for Rimmy to take the 3rd room, and then we’ll be unstoppable!! We’re being paid to paint it later and clean it now, so that’s a good thing, it’s just exhausting to move is all, but I believe it’s worth it.


Well I think that’s about it for now, I hope all of my readers are doing well.

And now…for your Educational Ghetto Moment.

Tomatoes

“They be playin you like dey straight veggie and shit…But they is FRUIT BIAAAATCH!!!