Why is it that 18 Year Old Girls Have Way More Tattoos Than I do?
…And please for Gods sake don’t ask me how I know that…It’s been an interesting few months…
HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!!!!!!
I sure hope it will be for us all. Lets see, I know it’s been a while so let’s start with……
New Years Eve.
I thought New Years would be a problem for me, as New Years the year before was somewhat, … . . .Eventful lets say. But I was alright, I had a lot of fun and met some interesting people, some I chased until I got a chance to pounce, some I didn’t, but that is yet another story.
The night was a blur though, I remember my friend and band mate Neal putting Jagermeister in my Jameson Irish Whisky, and then……nothing……
So….fun night all round.
NEXT!
Work has been work, but some things have happened there. Work Wanker continues to strive for the #1 Lazy Cunt award, and I’ve been here long enough that it seemed like raise time. I asked my supervisor if this was possible, and she said the Head Honcho’s from Ontario were coming to see us and that she would ask on my behalf. I was excited.
The next day I got some interesting news.
No Raises…..ever….and my Supervisors wage was being cut by .50c.
Well you could just imagine how much we were fuming at that, well it turns out the next day they decided to change their minds after we reminded the eastern bastards that we could find a job here with at least double our salary in less effort than it takes fry a sausage….in HELL!
So I am getting a raise, and my supervisors wage isn’t getting cut, which is brilliant.
Other than that, nothing much going on that front.
AND!?!?!
Neal and I, are going to have a disc completed by April! Woooo!
We have about 12 out of 20 potential songs finished. But Neal keeps on making more tunes, and they’re good! So it’s hard to concentrate on the ones we’re already doing.
So if anyone wants a copy of our fine tunes, leave a comment! I’m excited!!
Man we’re already starting to live the rock and roll lifestyle and we’re not even popular. We have groupies! Well one of them is Neals girl, but Neals girl has a sister. So we get together and have a few dozen drinks and weekends are, slightly odd but damn fun!
One night Neal let me and his girls sister use his room…..TO SLEEP IN!! …yes….that’s right……
Anyhow we hear him doing something to the door, so Sister Girly goes to check it out and I hear this…BLAM!!!..”OOOWWWWW GOD DAMN!”
Neal was doing mischief with the door, not sure how but the above antics ensued 4 more times! So we would hear scratching, Sister girl gets annoyed, she gets up to see what’s going on and BLAM!! “ OOOWWWWW FUCKEN HELL”
Neal got hit by the door about 4 times before it finally stopped.
I get up to take the piss in the middle of the morning….so I open the door and……
Clink!
The hell? The door isn’t opening……I look down and notice there is a chain strapped to the outer wall and the door. The Bastard Neal, went and took his security latch off his front door and bolted us inside!
Weird fucker!
I rip it out of the wall and take my much needed piss, feeling odd about the whole shenanigan. Things like this happen when you’re destined to be rock gods I suppose.
On another note…….no pun intended…
WE GOTS A NEW HOME!!!
Well, not really, but here is the story.
You love stories dontcha bitch! Huh?! Yeeaahh you like it……Take it all!!
Our upstairs neighbors, they did a midnight move. Fun stuff….we were glad cause they were annoying and what not, previous blogs have info. If they were a band they would be called “The Absolute Cunts Absolutely”. I know that word didn’t have to go in there twice but I think it accentuates the importance of a particular fact.
They’re Absolute Cunts.
Anyhow they left the place a Mess so Jovknee and I go up to see the place.
It was a disaster, they left the place in pretty bad shape. It’s a pretty nice place though we thought, if it was clean. Jovknee and I got the Idea then to pitch to our landlord, that if the place was fixed to an extent we would take it for them as the place wasn’t a basement for once, and didn’t smell of cat piss.
The landlord agrees.
So now we got ourselves a 3 bedroom house. We’re waiting for Rimmy to take the 3rd room, and then we’ll be unstoppable!! We’re being paid to paint it later and clean it now, so that’s a good thing, it’s just exhausting to move is all, but I believe it’s worth it.
Well I think that’s about it for now, I hope all of my readers are doing well.
And now…for your Educational Ghetto Moment.
Tomatoes
“They be playin you like dey straight veggie and shit…But they is FRUIT BIAAAATCH!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!!!!!!
I sure hope it will be for us all. Lets see, I know it’s been a while so let’s start with……
New Years Eve.
I thought New Years would be a problem for me, as New Years the year before was somewhat, … . . .Eventful lets say. But I was alright, I had a lot of fun and met some interesting people, some I chased until I got a chance to pounce, some I didn’t, but that is yet another story.
The night was a blur though, I remember my friend and band mate Neal putting Jagermeister in my Jameson Irish Whisky, and then……nothing……
So….fun night all round.
NEXT!
Work has been work, but some things have happened there. Work Wanker continues to strive for the #1 Lazy Cunt award, and I’ve been here long enough that it seemed like raise time. I asked my supervisor if this was possible, and she said the Head Honcho’s from Ontario were coming to see us and that she would ask on my behalf. I was excited.
The next day I got some interesting news.
No Raises…..ever….and my Supervisors wage was being cut by .50c.
Well you could just imagine how much we were fuming at that, well it turns out the next day they decided to change their minds after we reminded the eastern bastards that we could find a job here with at least double our salary in less effort than it takes fry a sausage….in HELL!
So I am getting a raise, and my supervisors wage isn’t getting cut, which is brilliant.
Other than that, nothing much going on that front.
AND!?!?!
Neal and I, are going to have a disc completed by April! Woooo!
We have about 12 out of 20 potential songs finished. But Neal keeps on making more tunes, and they’re good! So it’s hard to concentrate on the ones we’re already doing.
So if anyone wants a copy of our fine tunes, leave a comment! I’m excited!!
Man we’re already starting to live the rock and roll lifestyle and we’re not even popular. We have groupies! Well one of them is Neals girl, but Neals girl has a sister. So we get together and have a few dozen drinks and weekends are, slightly odd but damn fun!
One night Neal let me and his girls sister use his room…..TO SLEEP IN!! …yes….that’s right……
Anyhow we hear him doing something to the door, so Sister Girly goes to check it out and I hear this…BLAM!!!..”OOOWWWWW GOD DAMN!”
Neal was doing mischief with the door, not sure how but the above antics ensued 4 more times! So we would hear scratching, Sister girl gets annoyed, she gets up to see what’s going on and BLAM!! “ OOOWWWWW FUCKEN HELL”
Neal got hit by the door about 4 times before it finally stopped.
I get up to take the piss in the middle of the morning….so I open the door and……
Clink!
The hell? The door isn’t opening……I look down and notice there is a chain strapped to the outer wall and the door. The Bastard Neal, went and took his security latch off his front door and bolted us inside!
Weird fucker!
I rip it out of the wall and take my much needed piss, feeling odd about the whole shenanigan. Things like this happen when you’re destined to be rock gods I suppose.
On another note…….no pun intended…
WE GOTS A NEW HOME!!!
Well, not really, but here is the story.
You love stories dontcha bitch! Huh?! Yeeaahh you like it……Take it all!!
Our upstairs neighbors, they did a midnight move. Fun stuff….we were glad cause they were annoying and what not, previous blogs have info. If they were a band they would be called “The Absolute Cunts Absolutely”. I know that word didn’t have to go in there twice but I think it accentuates the importance of a particular fact.
They’re Absolute Cunts.
Anyhow they left the place a Mess so Jovknee and I go up to see the place.
It was a disaster, they left the place in pretty bad shape. It’s a pretty nice place though we thought, if it was clean. Jovknee and I got the Idea then to pitch to our landlord, that if the place was fixed to an extent we would take it for them as the place wasn’t a basement for once, and didn’t smell of cat piss.
The landlord agrees.
So now we got ourselves a 3 bedroom house. We’re waiting for Rimmy to take the 3rd room, and then we’ll be unstoppable!! We’re being paid to paint it later and clean it now, so that’s a good thing, it’s just exhausting to move is all, but I believe it’s worth it.
Well I think that’s about it for now, I hope all of my readers are doing well.
And now…for your Educational Ghetto Moment.
Tomatoes
“They be playin you like dey straight veggie and shit…But they is FRUIT BIAAAATCH!!!
posted by Fictional Correspondant at 4:24 PM
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