One Bloody Minded Weekend.....
I'd Like to start with a question.
WHAT THE FUCK!?
That is exactly, what I would like to know.
The weekend was bloody awful. Oh sure it had its good bits but mostly it was shit. It actually started before the weekend.
So Thursday we turn on the taps. No hot water.
Smeg
So we realize the pilot light on the hot water tank has gone out. Fine fine. Jovknee being the butch handy man that he is tried to start the pilot light again with no success.
Double Smeg
So we call our land lord blokes and they send over a gas guy. After the gas guy checks this thing out like, he says there is no gas coming in at all, and asked if we have been paying the bill.
Ok the deal is we pay the upstairs tenant 40% of the utilities, but we have only gotten one bill since we moved in.
So we figured the buggers haven't been paying it, as the same day we found a note pasted to their door saying that if ye don't pay rent yer out. It turns out though that there was a switching of landlords taking care of this particular property we live in, and as such, buggered up the contract with the gas company.
That means that when he left he canceled it instead of transferring it.
OK, so the old lords a git.
We call up the new one today, a few cold showers later. Apparently our new land lord isn't in the office during weekends. So if we have an emergency like on a Saturday there isn't even an on call bugger to help us out
Triple Smeg with a side of fuck your mum!
We found that out Thursday.
Friday begins, and it is confirmed that I, Fictional Correspondent, has gotten a pay rise. That cheered me up a bit, and Hi Ho its off to work I go. Then I found out at work, that my grandmothers family pet, Rascal the dag, had to be put down. That dog has been around for a good 12 years. And has been a constant source of amusement, as well as a friend to my grandmother. Now that he is gone, I don't know how long my grandmother will last. She is pretty crushed.
Quad , Bugger Your Uncle Smeg
Riding the bus home from work, I'm standing and can't wait to get home, when this balding bloke is a red shirt with horizontal blue stripes goes to get off the bus. I saw the detail as there was no where to sit, so I was standing right near the back doors. The man before he gets off, rams his elbow into my chest.
The bastard hit me, and with out looking just gets off the bus.
Now, I'm not even bruised or anything so you all don't even have to put on an act that you give a good god damn.
I'm ok, but still, he meant it, and Lord knows why.
It's hard being a gentleman in a world where people hit you randomly.
PentaSmeg
I did that evening get to run a game Idea with Jovknee and Depaxus. It went well and fun was had by all.
Saturday was alright as well, as I got to play a comic relief character in D&D. A Pixie named(Thank You Rimmy)
PLASTICO!!!!!!!!!!!!
An Equasion. Invisible hero + Rapier + Flight + Back Stab = Confused, then dead ugly things.
Subtract one Smeg leaving a 4 coarse Smeg Rockabilly Scag Square Dance
The cold showers it seems though have taken its toll, as I believe I'm getting ill. Either that or I'm a pansy face.
Either way I'm not feeling too good when I wake up and everything hurts. I do however have payed sick days now...yehaw.
If I get ill, I'm going to walk into my landlords and stay all day, and wretch on absolutely everything. I will fill the office with filth.
I will cast Prismatic Yawn, and it will be glorious.
It isn't the worst weekend I've had but its definitely up there, even though mine pales in comparison to some, it was still bloody shit cakes. Last night when I went to bed, it all sort of hit me, I was sad that me grandmothers dog died , and I was furious at my attacker at the same time. I wanted bloody revenge, I wanted to shoot people. For once I knew how it felt to be a postal worker on Speed.
All I wanted to do was sleep but couldn't.
But as always, I'll be the better man and take it all in stride. A Few family members and friends have been ground down from society's cruelty, well I'm not going to.
Smeg them!
I'm going to have a good life, ......I'm gona be just like you. The Job, the Career, The fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc player and electrical tin opener! Good Health, Low cholesterol and Dental insurance. DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Fancy shirts, black hats and Kilts, and a god movie rip off!
5 For 5, Smegarific!
Lots of stress relief there.
WHAT THE FUCK!?
That is exactly, what I would like to know.
The weekend was bloody awful. Oh sure it had its good bits but mostly it was shit. It actually started before the weekend.
So Thursday we turn on the taps. No hot water.
Smeg
So we realize the pilot light on the hot water tank has gone out. Fine fine. Jovknee being the butch handy man that he is tried to start the pilot light again with no success.
Double Smeg
So we call our land lord blokes and they send over a gas guy. After the gas guy checks this thing out like, he says there is no gas coming in at all, and asked if we have been paying the bill.
Ok the deal is we pay the upstairs tenant 40% of the utilities, but we have only gotten one bill since we moved in.
So we figured the buggers haven't been paying it, as the same day we found a note pasted to their door saying that if ye don't pay rent yer out. It turns out though that there was a switching of landlords taking care of this particular property we live in, and as such, buggered up the contract with the gas company.
That means that when he left he canceled it instead of transferring it.
OK, so the old lords a git.
We call up the new one today, a few cold showers later. Apparently our new land lord isn't in the office during weekends. So if we have an emergency like on a Saturday there isn't even an on call bugger to help us out
Triple Smeg with a side of fuck your mum!
We found that out Thursday.
Friday begins, and it is confirmed that I, Fictional Correspondent, has gotten a pay rise. That cheered me up a bit, and Hi Ho its off to work I go. Then I found out at work, that my grandmothers family pet, Rascal the dag, had to be put down. That dog has been around for a good 12 years. And has been a constant source of amusement, as well as a friend to my grandmother. Now that he is gone, I don't know how long my grandmother will last. She is pretty crushed.
Quad , Bugger Your Uncle Smeg
Riding the bus home from work, I'm standing and can't wait to get home, when this balding bloke is a red shirt with horizontal blue stripes goes to get off the bus. I saw the detail as there was no where to sit, so I was standing right near the back doors. The man before he gets off, rams his elbow into my chest.
The bastard hit me, and with out looking just gets off the bus.
Now, I'm not even bruised or anything so you all don't even have to put on an act that you give a good god damn.
I'm ok, but still, he meant it, and Lord knows why.
It's hard being a gentleman in a world where people hit you randomly.
PentaSmeg
I did that evening get to run a game Idea with Jovknee and Depaxus. It went well and fun was had by all.
Saturday was alright as well, as I got to play a comic relief character in D&D. A Pixie named(Thank You Rimmy)
PLASTICO!!!!!!!!!!!!
An Equasion. Invisible hero + Rapier + Flight + Back Stab = Confused, then dead ugly things.
Subtract one Smeg leaving a 4 coarse Smeg Rockabilly Scag Square Dance
The cold showers it seems though have taken its toll, as I believe I'm getting ill. Either that or I'm a pansy face.
Either way I'm not feeling too good when I wake up and everything hurts. I do however have payed sick days now...yehaw.
If I get ill, I'm going to walk into my landlords and stay all day, and wretch on absolutely everything. I will fill the office with filth.
I will cast Prismatic Yawn, and it will be glorious.
It isn't the worst weekend I've had but its definitely up there, even though mine pales in comparison to some, it was still bloody shit cakes. Last night when I went to bed, it all sort of hit me, I was sad that me grandmothers dog died , and I was furious at my attacker at the same time. I wanted bloody revenge, I wanted to shoot people. For once I knew how it felt to be a postal worker on Speed.
All I wanted to do was sleep but couldn't.
But as always, I'll be the better man and take it all in stride. A Few family members and friends have been ground down from society's cruelty, well I'm not going to.
Smeg them!
I'm going to have a good life, ......I'm gona be just like you. The Job, the Career, The fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc player and electrical tin opener! Good Health, Low cholesterol and Dental insurance. DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Fancy shirts, black hats and Kilts, and a god movie rip off!
5 For 5, Smegarific!
Lots of stress relief there.
posted by Fictional Correspondant at 7:59 PM
5 Comments:
Sorry to hear about Rascal. Things around here sound alot the same as what you went through. Sorry I haven't sent any e-mails. Flipping Hotmail, isn't working for me right now. So I will have to try something different. Hope everything else is all well on your end. Thanks for the chins up. Talk soon.
Wow, when you least expect it, someone gives a damn....thats bloody great :)
Especially since you have a lot bigger problems than I do.
No worries about no e-mails and what have you.
You have my Thanx.
That's ok boss, I'll be the better man and use psychological torture. i'll just stare at him. All the time.
Other than that, people like that arent worth my time.
You'll have a mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suit, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, cleaning gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die...
You already know what I said about the guy on the bus. Works on the train = works on the bus with a bit more of a stumble. Try it, but try not to bruise your knuckles.
Because if you do, every time you get a twinge you'll have to tell someone the story. ;)
Well....I don't know who you are, but I know why I "used" to know you as opposed to knowing you now.
Blogs are built for bitching. It's one of the things you do on them. I put a humourous twist on it cause I'm a positive person.
I guess you couldn't see that, so I guess you're not that clever either.
And to boot, you don't even leave a name. Absolute class.
Thank You for your opinion though, but I think you can learn a lesson or 2 about positivity by looking at the previous commenters.
Thanks Kids :)
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