IF THOU HAST NOT THE FUNK, THOU HAST NOTHING!!
I guess it's time for less weird poetry and more of a recap, but I can't guarantee it will be as entertaining.
Work
Work has been good to me thus far. I have the perfect name for Printer Fixer...But since he is leaving after tomorrow you won't see the name again most likely. His name...
Chotcho-matic
Damn, and that was a good one too...But I do have a small story about Chotcho-matic before I mention him no more.
He has amusing days, mostly because he gets a slew of phone calls. Fixing printers in the building makes this fact, by itself, normal, but he doesn't get calls from the office. He gets calls from crazy people.
He constantly has fights with his Girl Friend on the phone, and they are kind funny to hear one sided. She sounds like a complete basket case. I hear she is from Kelowna, so that explains a little bit. Any woman who has spent most, if not all her life in Kelowna, or the Okanagan Valley is subject to what I like to call "Valley Madness!" More on THAT later.
He will blatantly tell this woman not to call so gad damn much for reasons that are for a lack of a better term, reasonable, you know, cause he's at work and all doing work stuff. But she keeps on calling and calling.
Now Chotch-o-Matic got his name because he's a clean cut butchy country kid. And as such he has a cell phone, that when it rings it plays an MP3 of some twangy country anthem of inbreeding.
Cuntry music as it were....
So most of the time he's out doing Chotchy Printer Fixing or tossing hey over his shoulder or what not, and his work phone will ring. Then his cell phone rings. Rinse and Repeat for about 6 times.
He comes back looks at his messages, curses the gods, and phones them back. He then has a fight, gets pissed off, and vocalises questions about hiding bodies and not going to prison. His sister does the same thing, calls him I mean, for stupid shit.
He was ready to burst yesterday. He was going to burst into a Kentucky Fried Chotch Rodeo Explosion, but stopped just short. His sister during a busy day called and bugged him about 14 times while he was away, complaining that Chotch-o-matics girl didn't do her hair correctly.
Man I would be pissed too if I got calls like that at work....Damn...
I wonder who will replace him......We can never tell......At least, not yet.
Play & Other Topics
Been Hanging out with Runswithscissors a lot for that past couple of weeks, and if you knew her like I do, you would too. She has been spending the last few weeks making things to sell at festivals and fairs and what not. Things like cloths and little fae tutu's for kids and what not, and I've been her little slave for the past little bit.
(Not in that way you degenerate pigs! Information of that nature is bought, not given)
She is feeling a lot better though, and that is a good thing because about 6 weeks ago she was pretty ill. The doctors thought she might have something she most DEFINITELY didn't want to have, Multiple Sclerosis.
Not sure how you spell that but either way, at her age it's pretty shitty news.
The doctors think now though, that it could very well be stress, cause she has had lots and lots of that.......And since time has gone by, and she has gotten better, we are thinking that is exactly what was wrong. Stress kills after all.
She is happy a lot now....And when she's happy, she radiates it like a beacon and becomes the physical embodiment of Joy itself, and you can't help but feel that when your around her.....
'shakes head'
sorry...Where was I?
Oh yes! So it's a good thing. ;)
Ok so sorry I bored you, but that's the way things are going for now.
I'm off to do some work, cause being at work, I should do some.
Peace Ouside!
Oh yes sorry.....
Valley Madness!
It is a well known fact that women who have spent too much time in the Okanagan Valley, suffer from Valley Madness. It is a mental defect or type of deranged insanity. In fact a victim of Valley Madness soon loses her humanity and becomes a symbiot called"A Void"
A parasite that will leach onto a male and suck the souls energy down the the bare minimum. He will never be free again until the parasite is dispatched. Valley Madness is not limited to the Valley however. We all have that friend, who has that girlfriend(or boyfriend for that matter) that controls him, and you hardly ever see him. I'm not just talking about the 'I have a girl now so I'm hanging with her a lot' phase but I mean you NEVER see him. He isn't allowed to do anything with anyone but his woman. This is a sign his Girls Valley Madness has turned her into a Void.
Symptoms of someone with Valley Madness
A complete lack of being able to cope with the world around her causing her to view her issues as part of her being, not something to be dealt with.
This leads to the second stage where she tries to force those around her to accept and live according to her issues as well. Logic has almost no vacancy at this stage.
They usually go on the hunt for an unsuspecting mate whom she can latch onto and subdue. Once she can convince this mate to see things the way she does, she moves in and taps the soul energy feeding her condition.
It is at this stage where she becomes a Void and is no longer human. A well that sucks in all positive energy leaving only a negative feeling in it's place.
It may sound like I'm picking on women more than men, but there are a dangerous amount of male Voids as well.
Stand up brothers and sisters and fight!
Ways that could stop the Valley madness and eventual void are as follows.
Learn to help your mate deal with her/His issues. If He/She can't, leave, it's better than the alternative.
Make him or her see that a relationship isn't about co-dependence, it's about friendship of the most sacred kind. And if issues act up, deal with them right away.
That is all the advice to be given on this subject at this time.
NOW Peace Ouside Fo Real
Work
Work has been good to me thus far. I have the perfect name for Printer Fixer...But since he is leaving after tomorrow you won't see the name again most likely. His name...
Chotcho-matic
Damn, and that was a good one too...But I do have a small story about Chotcho-matic before I mention him no more.
He has amusing days, mostly because he gets a slew of phone calls. Fixing printers in the building makes this fact, by itself, normal, but he doesn't get calls from the office. He gets calls from crazy people.
He constantly has fights with his Girl Friend on the phone, and they are kind funny to hear one sided. She sounds like a complete basket case. I hear she is from Kelowna, so that explains a little bit. Any woman who has spent most, if not all her life in Kelowna, or the Okanagan Valley is subject to what I like to call "Valley Madness!" More on THAT later.
He will blatantly tell this woman not to call so gad damn much for reasons that are for a lack of a better term, reasonable, you know, cause he's at work and all doing work stuff. But she keeps on calling and calling.
Now Chotch-o-Matic got his name because he's a clean cut butchy country kid. And as such he has a cell phone, that when it rings it plays an MP3 of some twangy country anthem of inbreeding.
Cuntry music as it were....
So most of the time he's out doing Chotchy Printer Fixing or tossing hey over his shoulder or what not, and his work phone will ring. Then his cell phone rings. Rinse and Repeat for about 6 times.
He comes back looks at his messages, curses the gods, and phones them back. He then has a fight, gets pissed off, and vocalises questions about hiding bodies and not going to prison. His sister does the same thing, calls him I mean, for stupid shit.
He was ready to burst yesterday. He was going to burst into a Kentucky Fried Chotch Rodeo Explosion, but stopped just short. His sister during a busy day called and bugged him about 14 times while he was away, complaining that Chotch-o-matics girl didn't do her hair correctly.
Man I would be pissed too if I got calls like that at work....Damn...
I wonder who will replace him......We can never tell......At least, not yet.
Play & Other Topics
Been Hanging out with Runswithscissors a lot for that past couple of weeks, and if you knew her like I do, you would too. She has been spending the last few weeks making things to sell at festivals and fairs and what not. Things like cloths and little fae tutu's for kids and what not, and I've been her little slave for the past little bit.
(Not in that way you degenerate pigs! Information of that nature is bought, not given)
She is feeling a lot better though, and that is a good thing because about 6 weeks ago she was pretty ill. The doctors thought she might have something she most DEFINITELY didn't want to have, Multiple Sclerosis.
Not sure how you spell that but either way, at her age it's pretty shitty news.
The doctors think now though, that it could very well be stress, cause she has had lots and lots of that.......And since time has gone by, and she has gotten better, we are thinking that is exactly what was wrong. Stress kills after all.
She is happy a lot now....And when she's happy, she radiates it like a beacon and becomes the physical embodiment of Joy itself, and you can't help but feel that when your around her.....
'shakes head'
sorry...Where was I?
Oh yes! So it's a good thing. ;)
Ok so sorry I bored you, but that's the way things are going for now.
I'm off to do some work, cause being at work, I should do some.
Peace Ouside!
Oh yes sorry.....
Valley Madness!
It is a well known fact that women who have spent too much time in the Okanagan Valley, suffer from Valley Madness. It is a mental defect or type of deranged insanity. In fact a victim of Valley Madness soon loses her humanity and becomes a symbiot called"A Void"
A parasite that will leach onto a male and suck the souls energy down the the bare minimum. He will never be free again until the parasite is dispatched. Valley Madness is not limited to the Valley however. We all have that friend, who has that girlfriend(or boyfriend for that matter) that controls him, and you hardly ever see him. I'm not just talking about the 'I have a girl now so I'm hanging with her a lot' phase but I mean you NEVER see him. He isn't allowed to do anything with anyone but his woman. This is a sign his Girls Valley Madness has turned her into a Void.
Symptoms of someone with Valley Madness
A complete lack of being able to cope with the world around her causing her to view her issues as part of her being, not something to be dealt with.
This leads to the second stage where she tries to force those around her to accept and live according to her issues as well. Logic has almost no vacancy at this stage.
They usually go on the hunt for an unsuspecting mate whom she can latch onto and subdue. Once she can convince this mate to see things the way she does, she moves in and taps the soul energy feeding her condition.
It is at this stage where she becomes a Void and is no longer human. A well that sucks in all positive energy leaving only a negative feeling in it's place.
It may sound like I'm picking on women more than men, but there are a dangerous amount of male Voids as well.
Stand up brothers and sisters and fight!
Ways that could stop the Valley madness and eventual void are as follows.
Learn to help your mate deal with her/His issues. If He/She can't, leave, it's better than the alternative.
Make him or her see that a relationship isn't about co-dependence, it's about friendship of the most sacred kind. And if issues act up, deal with them right away.
That is all the advice to be given on this subject at this time.
NOW Peace Ouside Fo Real
posted by Fictional Correspondant at 2:23 PM
1 Comments:
Heavy tranquilizers in a launchable injector are the best way to deal with onset Valley Madness.
But tells us more about what FCC is clearly putting in your water. ;)
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