Happy Halloween

I wrote a Vampire story.

That is all.

Karma or Lack of Foresight?

When I woke I saw no moon only clouds so I got in my car and drove across the city. Perfect night for a stroll, I’ve seen a lot of nights so I know this one will be perfect. I left my car in an abandoned parking lot and started walking through the ghettos back towards home or wherever I end up.

I love walking among the urban jungles and their seedy underbellies. Some things over the years have changed but the basic fundamentals of society have not. The rich tread on the poor and the strong prey on the weak. The wealthy stay that way off the labor of others and the laborers stay comfortably dominated through home entertainment and other new gadgets. Here in the ghettos things are a bit rawer although not entirely different. There are the good and bad parts of a city and each section, rich or poor has its predators and one needs to know these things if you’re among them, or in my case, slightly above.

I turn a corner and see the familiar site of hoodlums gathering around a large barrel of fire with their “music” blasting out of some vehicle they own or stole. They notice me walking by and pretend not to care but I know what they saw, I recognize the look in their eyes and sure enough my hunch is correct as I see about four of them start to tail me. They’ve decided to rob me I know that much, but from the gang lingo and signs they’re giving off I’d say they’re working out whether to kill me or not. They’re not reaching for their firearms so I guess they’ve come to the conclusion that a gentleman like me would most likely be missed. I do happen to be well dressed, a black suit with a black tie and a bowler hat carrying a long black umbrella and a briefcase so it makes sense, and being white isn’t helping my case any so yes a sound beating will have to do for the likes of me.

They believe I don’t stand a chance against them. Let them believe. There is no reason that they can see why they should believe otherwise and that is the moment that believing transforms into knowing, I see it in their eyes and their grins, and it’s when one confuses belief with knowledge that the most fatal mistakes are made, not to mention the atrocities, but not tonight not for them. Tonight things play out differently. They see me stop and turn around so they too stop. We look at each other for quite some time it seems. They start to approach without a word slowly and confidently. Hoodlums dress very oddly now days. Back in my time you kept your clothing tight and simple so that in a brawl there was nothing to drag you down. But in this day and age image has taken the place of substance and the meek have inherited the earth. Fools have always preached the end times but this is the closest they’ve gotten yet. My attackers are dressed in miss matched baggy clothing with random bits of fake ridiculous jewelry. It’s very hard to be intimidated by them. Where I’m from it’s very hard to look intimidating when it appears that you can’t put a hat on properly. Oh well, my lithe and tall frame extends it’s long arms out before it in welcome and grinning I say..

“Hello Gentlemen! How can I be of service?”

All they do is snicker and rush me and I welcome them with my open arms as I am crushed by the weight of their first blows. They’ve surrounded me now, knocking me around from one to the other, and .. I welcome it. At one point I feel a couple of ribs crack from one of their knees and I take this opportunity to take something from the hoods pocket and palm it, after that I let them have their fun. The predatory beast inside my soul is screaming at me. It wants to finish them where they stand but I resist it. I could end them right now in so many colorful ways. I have done so many times in the past. But tonight will be different yes, tonight I play a new game. As the flesh and bones of my body rip and crack with every strike I can feel the beast in me howl louder and louder. No I say! You will still your wailing for now! If you do not remember that I’ve mastered you long ago this is your reminder!

At this point I realize the attack has stopped and they are rifling through my clothes. My body is broken and sprawled on the ground. I make sure to moan a bit and wheeze some shallow breathing so they don’t panic and think they’ve killed me. Too late for that I’m afraid my young friends, but I let them believe all the same. I let them “know”. They’ve taken my briefcase and my wallet. One of them is pissing on me, am I marked now I wonder?

After they have a chuckle they leave me shattered in the street hooting and hollering about their accomplishments.

I contemplate my current state for a while laying in the silence of the ally. It’s not often I get to be a victim so I think on the concept for a bit in my current state. In this time I let my breathe cease and just be the dead man I’ve been for over a hundred years. No pretending anymore as the first act of tonight’s macabre play is over and the intermission has begun. I can be myself again for a bit.

My body is dead but besides that there are minimal apparent changes to its structure. All the parts are there but most of them don’t work the way they used to and that’s alright because it doesn’t matter. The only thing that really changed was the blood. The one that made me the thing I am now did so by taking all of mine, and replaced it with hers. It happened the same way to her whenever she was made and again and again on and on back through history. It boggles my mind sometimes thinking of the source of what I am and all before me, the force driving my corpse and sustaining my intellect. Oh well, no one really knows where they’ve come from, not even my kind.

Even though I refill my supply of blood off of men and women and sometimes animals, the potency left in my veins by the one who made me is still very much there and grants me some unique merits. For instance, if my body has been damaged I can repair it, and with a simple thought I send that power flowing through my body. Bones and limbs snap back into place, my torn and bruised flesh mends and reforms itself and in less than half a minutes time, everything is what it once was. My clothes of course are in shambles. They left my hat and umbrella alone though I see. A spot of luck it seems.

I pick them both up off the ground and straighten myself out. The Beast, another thing left inside me by my maker, is not only howling for vengeance but for sustenance as well. The perks my blood holds are useful but using them somewhat diminishes the supply, I’ll need more. Where shall I get it?

I find in my sleeve the palmed item from one of my assailants. It’s a wallet, ahhh, just as I thought! Excellent. Let’s see what’s inside shall we?

Well look here I’ve found money. Fifty dollars. What else … a condom … some random cards for tattoo shops and what not. A phone number … mmmm … interesting and here we go … an ID … a student ID. Why the poor lad is still in school, or was. And a government ID as well. Why he’s only seventeen years young. Mr. Sean Coakley, very interesting indeed, having this is well worth what I gave up. What was in my wallet? Nothing but money, about three hundred dollars I reckon and nothing else. What’s the use of having anything else in your wallet when you’re as old as I am? Anyhow it was mostly bait as was the suitcase. The suitcase held a considerable amount more than the wallet, five thousand, seven?

They’ll have a ball with it I’m sure. In the mean time, lets go pay Mr. Coakley a visit.

--- ------ ----- ------- --- ------

I’ve been standing outside the Coakley residence for a little over an hour and I’ve learned so very much. Sean it seems is a fake. The house is nice, upper middle class I would say. There is a nice car in the drive way and a swing set in the front yard. There’s even a good sized house for the dog, and there it is huddling inside it peering at me. It senses what I am and will not come out. I can smell its fear and see the little thing trembling. A purer breed of canine might have started barking trying to drive me away, “Back you foul unnatural thing! Get away from my territory!” but no not this one. Oh how times have changed.

I digress though. It’s time for Sean to learn a lesson about his lot. People, especially young people are very eager to take away from others not realizing what they have. It appears that Mrs. Coakely is the only one in the house tonight. I saw her through a window watching a movie on television looking ever so lonely.

I tell the Beast inside me that you need wait no longer for she will be the object of your affections. By the time we are through my pet, a new beginning will unfold for young Sean Coakley and many lessons shall be inflicted upon him. The mess we will make in this grand feeding will not only deprive our young friend of a parent, but the media will most likely reveal this young pups true identity to his street friends.

The pure lust emanating from my Beast fills me up and crashes over me in a wave of hunger and anticipation. That is my cue to let the second act begin and with that, I start walking up the walkway.

After a while just giving into desire isn’t enough, it must be a focused desire, and this new age we’re in gives me enough reasons to focus and inflict what I am upon humanity more than ever.

As I snap the lock on the door and open it a tune comes into my head, I believe it’s called ‘Puttin on the Ritz’ . I always liked that one. When she notices me I’m humming it, and it is shortly after that the screaming starts….

If you’re blue and you don’t know mm mm mmmm mmm …..

Why I'm an Atheist.

WARNING: It’s a bit long but I hope you find it thought provoking. Enjoy, or not.



I am in fact an Atheist. I like a lot of the cool pagan stuff but I can’t bring myself to actually believe it. Why am I an Atheist?

It’s not to be controversial or to make fun of religious people. Just because someone is religious doesn’t make them stupid. It isn’t so I can argue with people and challenge their idea either even though I like to do that on a number of topics. I’m an Atheist because it makes sense to me.

There are many reasons for this.

When I look at the world I see a very complicated place. Things are almost never as they seem from the structure of how a government really works to how atoms and molecules work. Almost nothing in the world has a simple explanation at its core. So how can the meaning of life and existence be explained by a book the size of the bible or the Koran? On top of that, the main characters in these books are too much like us. They’re monsters most of them. Let’s look at how Richard Dawkins describes the God of the old biblical testament.

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."

This God is way too human in my opinion. Life is too complicated and it would be an insult to human existence and accomplishment to squeeze it all into small story book, and yes this applies to ALL of them.

I would never tell an individual that their faith is wrong but I wouldn’t encourage it either. What I’ve learned about the planet has pretty much forced me to believe that there aren’t any intelligent designers out there. I will tell them what I think if they ask me about my beliefs on religion. I would tell them that I don’t like the fact that it preaches wisdom yet restricts knowledge as a practice. I would tell them that I don’t like how most religious preach peace and then use the same doctrine as the ultimate excuse to go to war.

I would tell them that I don’t like the fact that people revere the Pope as a Holy man even though he lives in a house made of gold and says contraception spreads deadly viruses when he could be breaking off pieces of his own kitchen to help feed a small fucking country instead. That one really gets me. It gets on my pecs even more than the tolerated sexual abuse of children, or not, it’s hard to say what angers me more. That combination of stupidity, greed, ignorance and apathy should be enough to wake the world up, but it hasn’t yet.

I would tell them that I don’t like the fact that it preaches unity while separating you from society. I don’t like how a lot of religions take our base human instincts and make them out to be the worst possible things you could ever do, you know like sex and other fun stuff.

I would tell them how I greatly dislike the fact that Religion conditions people to disbelieve blatant and proven facts when it contradicts their faith. If faith is the most powerful thing in the universe, how in the hell is a fact going to hurt it? If your faith is true, should it not remain intact no matter what you learn? Why fear certain knowledge if your faith by its nature will overcome it?

If I was a spiritual leader I wouldn’t tell my congregation to resist temptation and not to listen to false profits. I would tell them to learn all that they can. If their faith is strong enough it will survive through anything they learn or experience that may test it. If our Holy book is true and all others are false surely you’ll find your way back to it, unless of course you’re one of the damned and the fallen……but if you’re good and pure you have nothing to worry about in the end right? It’s all been worked out already so it doesn’t matter.

I can’t think that way personally, again it’s too simple a life for such a complex universe.

Alright let’s try this, although I must warn you that this scenario might be complete bollocks, so let’s see.

A primitive culture is freezing to death in some wasteland. Say these people discover a bus. We don’t know how it got there, it just appeared one day. So they investigate this bus and wise men and women of the time learn how to use it. They’re not sure how it works but they work it anyway and it manages to take them many many miles away from the frozen wastes. Then abruptly it stops and works no more. Well since these people went from an existence of suffering to a better one they praise the bus, and get inspired to tell tales about the bus and build monuments to it. Soon an entire mythos is created about the vessel that took them from the frozen lands and into paradise and one day the bus will work again and when it does more buses will come and take everyone away to the promised land!

Look it can happen ok?! I know that most of the smart guys and gals would be asking where the fuck the bus came from in the first place but not these guys! That’s not how they do things!

Moving along…

So one day some people decide they’re going to examine the bus in an attempt to learn about it. There is an argument about this because some others believe the bus is holy and shouldn’t be tampered with. There is some fighting and deaths but over time things are discovered about the buses workings. Let’s assume there are wars to impede the examiners progress and many people die but eventually they find out how the bus works and they explain it to everyone. Now that everyone knows how the vehicle works they know it isn’t a magical device and anyone who believes that is laughed at. They still don’t know where the bus came from but they do know it’s a machine and there’s nothing mystical about it.


The moral of this very weird tale is this. I think that once we know enough about the universe the religious and the superstitious will have no choice but to change or they will find themselves laughed into the insane asylum. I don’t think we’re ever going to know everything about the universe but we’re finding out more and more everyday and soon religion will have no choice but to retire. The more you learn about what we already know the more I think you’ll realize just how silly the idea of a God really is, although that’s just my opinion. The only thing sillier of course is my bollocks bus metaphor.

Cheers.

Work

It’s what you say you do to make that hard earned cash you so desperately need to survive. Not survival in the wilderness sense oh no! Survival from madness. Survival from reality. Survival is doing the best you can to constantly rebuild the delusion you made for yourself while the chisel of existence and the hammer of the universe breaks it down fucking day in and day out. The ego and self importance with a dash of narcissism, keep it going at any cost! Nothing gets you there faster than money and stuff. Keep it going until the day oblivion swallows you whole and history eventually forgets you existed.

Anyhow forget all that the important thing is that I get to the point.

Right! Steady on! Here we go!

I came to my particular place of compulsory slavery today, doing this and that for the other slaves of course. My cage is a mailroom you understand. Anything sacred or desirable comes through me first. Despite this I do not know the secrets of their corporate universe for I am employed as a mere conduit. One of my duties is to assist visitors in finding the knowledge and information they seek so they can go on their way unabated to serve their particular master and “get er done” as it were.
I was helping three women this morning.

Auditors.

Predatory birds of the business matrices. Instinct sharp and a head full of big fucking eyes. They cover their beak with lip stick their talons are meticulously looked after but the trained eye can see the truth. Their claws are soaked in echoer like ink ready to inscribe your mistakes in their clipboard tablets binding them forever in the archives of time! Their maws soaked in the blood of the innocent and unorganized. They do not feed on scraps like their passive avian cousins which we call “Accountants” no. You must be wary around the Auditor.

I was sharp and resolute when they came to me squawking commands of their business. I was doing well under their ever watchful gaze until one ask me a favour.

“Could you fire up the company website so I may instruct you on seeking out some information?”

My reply

“Certainly miss, I would be happy to get it up for you.”

I realized what I said right after I said it. I felt sweat on my brow and I felt my mouth trying desperately not to smile. This was it, they had me. It felt as though their eyes on me were stones grinding my organs to dust. I calmed myself and did the task they asked me to and listened. There was nothing. They were just waiting.
Waiting for what they asked for. The accidental innuendo was completely lost on them, and I felt relief.

Then I heard it, a solitary and silent giggle. It shocked me but it was beautiful. The others didn’t seem to notice. Something happened then that summoned their attention away from me and they were gone. It all happened so quickly. I was almost certainly food for such a comment but I was spared. Spared from Auditor tyranny! This gives me hope.

It gives me hope that an accident somehow sparked something in the most banal heart. A reminder that no matter what foul shape we’ve carved ourselves into over the years and no matter how much discipline we put into our craft, deep down we’re just perverts eager to breed, enjoy it, and laugh about it and this made me happy.

I feel the mixed sensation of embarrassment and amusement still from hours ago when it happened…….

Back to the grind.

I wish Those Bloody Bells Would Stop

Greetings lads and lass’s, it has been a while and I have been busy.

A lot of things tend to be happening to me which isn’t odd in itself because that happens to most everyone, maybe. I am turning 30 in a month and though it really isn’t a big deal I have come to realize certain things in my 3 decades of existence. I used to be a witch, then I learned certain things about the universe which made me sorta witchy. Then I learned even more about the universe and the people living here among me and suddenly realized I was an atheist because being seriously religious seemed to me very silly. I discovered that people have a lot of potential and with the right ambition can accomplish great and or horrible things just by being themselves. That’s it really.

Things are horrid on the planet because there are people who can’t be arsed to make it better. I’m guilty of this myself in some aspects, as we all are, we can’t help it to a certain extent but if you feel you can help in some situation do it, or don’t it’s up to you. No Cloud King Fucker is going to judge you. Do it for you and yours and live your life however YOU choose because you’re the only one that can change it. The whole of existence is way too complicated to be explained away by a fairytale staring a magical carpenter or other such characters.

I think humans are wicked in their own right, so let’s be wicked and do stuff.

That previous statement of complete vague positivity was brought to you today by the letter P, the number 2 and a complete Lunatic.

And now…..OTHER THINGS!!!

I just finished being in a show called Demonika’s Symphony of Horrors. It was brilliant. I got to play Igor in a Frankenstein fetish set. Also my first major Acting/Performing gig in a very long while. The rehearsals were…well crap for the most part BUT, by the time we all got on stage we actually pulled it off pretty well. I was indeed impressed.
All of the acts that night were fantastic and I have plenty of pictures as many of you have already seen. It was awesome, and I get to MC a show in a few weeks. I’m still undecided about the costume I need some ideas.

My friend Neal and I are friends again which is a good thing as he’s a wonderful bloke. We had a falling out over the New Year but things are alright now. He had some issues he needed to work out but now that those aren’t plaguing him anymore he’s his old self again. Hopefully the future holds many a great tune and good time to be had with this man.

I recently went back to Ontario to visit some friends and attend a big live action role playing convention. The trip was awesome. I got to see tons of old friends I haven’t seen in 2 years since I left and where I was (London) gave me an interesting Nostalgic feeling. It was pleasant. I went to the convention expecting to geek out and spend time with more kick ass friends, especially one I was sharing a room with because every time I’ve hung around her she was just great fun. Something good and unexpected happened during my stay there that I won’t go into, but you could probably guess ;)
Said friend is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks, and I’m overjoyed.
We shall see what happens from there. So yeah, lots of change and new friends, and more…hehehehe…..

Right, now here is a LINK!!

http://www.rathergood.com/val_halal/

Now piss off!!

All I See, Is Infinite Beauty….and Robots…..Beauty and Robots.

I said I would write again when there were things to tell, and by God there are now! The New Year and a bit before it has brought on a score of change.

Let’s get right down to it then shall we? Good! Steady on!

My friend Kibilz decided he was going to buy a house, and so he did. To help with the mortgage he was going to turn his basement into a make shift bachelor suite that he was going to rent out. Since I loved living alone in Ontario I thought what the hell, I’ll take him up on this wonderful offer and finally have a place on my own after all this time. Jovknee my room mate was not a factor in this decision I just simply like having my own space.
So Kibilz and I have been building this fucking thing for the past month now with the help of our friend Kevin. It’s interesting to watch something like this go up, especially when you’ve never done this sort of thing before. So by February 1st it should be ready, and I’ll have a lair of my own once more!

FUCKING HAZAH!

This did leave Jovknee with the problem of finding another room mate, and I was worried about it for a while but it appears that the situation has been rectified. We shall call her “Mittens”. I have no bloody clue as to why we shall call her that. My friend Rimmy names people in my life. He’s usually good at it. If he doesn’t hit the mark it’s usually amusing so it’s all good.
This new room mate is pretty cool so far and I don’t have to worry any more.
Oh, if Mittens is reading this….you can blame Rimmy when he calls our house…and he will, for the name.

Mittens has a dog and so does Jovknee. The dogs get along great. The often spend time doing the “Canine 500” around the house and let me tell you, dogs + hard wood floors = Comedy gold. They can’t corner worth a damn. The beasts just run around crashing into things and biting each other. I wonder why we as a race don’t do that sort of thing anymore. Maybe we do.
There must be a club where you can do that….

Of course for Christmas I went home to B.C. and spent time with my Mother an Grandmother as always. It was a good and relaxing time…as always. The family I got left are great, simply great. After I got home from that trip is where the serious adventures begin.

My friends Scoob and Pink/Toque (Code names to protect the awesome) just announced they are getting married. WOOOHOOO I say! Conrad’s you crazy bastards! My Friend Gravedigger is apparently having a kid with his wife. I can’t comment on this, because I have nothing nice to say about his wife. It isn’t even amusing, just vulgar so I’ll leave it at that.

The Night if Dec 27th

Gothic/Industrial night at the Soda Night Club called Chimera.
That was a bloody good time. I got very drunk, danced like a fool, and met some kick ass people that I haven’t seen in a very very long time.
I do not remember much of that evening but I saw some pictures. I knew I was having fun because I looked an absolute tit, which is ok I suppose.
I kind of remember escorting some friends to a train station, and I think I got a cab ride home. I’m doing that again the next time it happens.

The Night of Dec 28th

A friend of mine Kat invited me to her house party so it was this night that I went (Her name needs no protection. The Awesome just shines through anyway). The party was fancy dress encouraged so of course being me I went all out in pirate gear! This night was awesome! Kat was a fabulous host, the company was second to none. I had some interesting mushroom tea…that did nothing but was delicious! I drank 20 oz of scotch to myself! I played some music with some people! Things got blurry and twisted until the morning time where the remainder of the guests and I, along with Kat had breakfast and talked about things. With yet another bender under my belt and well sleep deprived, it was time for me o go home and rest as I had another event to go to the next night/that night. Twas brilliant!

The Night of the 29th

A friend from Gore Games Danielle, invited me out for her birthday. A bunch of people having Japanese food to start, then off to the Republik Night club. I clearly haven’t had enough booze for one weekend so off I went! I decided tonight would be a good night to wear the priest collar.
Sushi was pretty good, but a lot of it didn’t agree with me as the scotch from the previous evening made my stomach all fucking cranky. That’s ok; there was booze to be had after. Off to the club! A group of us get there an promptly start drinking like fish. I got some interesting reactions to the collar. Some liked it. Some got their pic taken with me. One girl wasn’t all that impressed with me. Conversation is as fallows.

Her: Are you really a Priest?
Me: I’ll get back to you on that..
Her: Does the shirt help with the ladies?
Me: Perhaps..
Her: You’re not as interesting as I thought you would be.

She walks off. I laughed as she did and thought “Well you are as shallow as I thought you were going to be, so one out of two isn’t bad……cunt..”

The rest of the night was pretty good. Danielle is a peach and her friends are pretty wicked so for not knowing people all that well that evening it went well.

The Night of the 30th

I went to a sea food place called Bookers and ate 8 pounds of Crab. It was a holocaust. Hey I don’t feel bad! What if those bastards try to take over huh? I ain’t takin no guff from something with out a skeleton! So help keep the crustaceans down! That night was sweet. Sweet Crustacean murder! :D

New Years Eve how ever was when it all turned around, as in it was bad.

It didn’t start out bad though. Neal picked me up from work and we ran a few errands that day and generally had a good fucking time. We had just got electronic drums and the general plan was to go up to his cousin’s house and jam for New Years. Fucking brilliant plan! His cousin’s house is out in the middle of nowhere. No one can hear you scream let alone jam. So off we go to Neal’s cousin’s house.
Everything is pretty cool for a while. I get very drunk again as does everyone else which includes Neal, his wife, our friend Elli and Neal’s cousin. Another guy named James or Josh I believe was there along with a couple of other women that didn’t stay for long. I would say “What a pity” but it turned out to be a good thing they left. Josh didn’t leave but it was ok he didn’t. He turned out to be a pretty kick ass bloke. It was a night of joy and merriment for a while but then as I said, it all changed.
Neal has been having some minor anger issues while drunk. It doesn’t happen every time, but every so often they appear, and when they do he usually disappears. Not this time. It started out with arguing with his wife. This argument got really loud and it wasn’t long before Neal had a complete psychotic episode. The man was flailing abuse about the place and didn’t miss an opportunity to hurt someone. Not in the physical sense but in other ways mostly verbal. He managed to smash a lot of things as well including parts of his cousin’s place. We were in the middle of nowhere and no one could hear you scream. Damned right. We waited till he exhausted himself out, talking and trying to joke around for the rest of the time. Eventually we went to sleep but it wasn’t a good sleep. That sort of abuse brings out awful feelings and memories. I know that Neal has his issues, everyone does. You have a choice whether to control them or not, and if you can’t you can bail.
So it was then I decided I wasn’t going to play music or be friends with him, at least for now. That really sucks cause he is an awesome guy and a great musician, but there is shit I just wont tolerate. On top of that he smashed the electronics drums I paid for. It was not a good evening.
We’re civil now and he’s paying me back and he knows what he did wrong so I guess there is that but still, losing a friend is never a good thing for what ever reason, especially when you’re the one breaking it off.

Let us hope the year is better than its ringing in.

When I finally get back to work I got some interesting news. My manager is leaving the company. She’s the one that got along with us great and managed to get us a kick ass raise. Apparently it was like going on a bloody crusade just to get more money for us. She is fed up with her superiors not listening to her and not being able to move the company anywhere. The people running the show are idiots and want things just the way they are, so she said “fuck this” and left. I don’t blame her and ever since she left I felt a sort of apathy towards my job. There is nothing I can really do short of mass murder that can get me fired so, it’s time to start pushing boundaries little by little and see how much I can get away with. It should be a fun few months.

There is something amusing that happened to me the other night.
I was invited to a friend Karla’s birthday. I met her and her friend Sue among a few others at a strip club in the North East. Where else are you gona have a good time?! Jesus!
Anyhow after a while of hanging out, they decide they want to dance, and that’s cool. They want to go to the gay bar and they ask me if it’s ok. I said sure, why not! Buy the ticket, take the ride! So off we go!
Now I must admit, as we approached the place I felt “The Fear”.
That sucks because I thought I was better than that. It was a strange place with people I didn’t know very well and on top of that it was a whole new element but still, why the hell feel fear?! Ah well I swallowed it like a man and went inside.
Now on top of this I wasn’t really in the mood for drinking or dancing. It had been a long week with a lot of drinking and construction of my new flat, so when they asked me to check my coat I was reluctant as I didn’t know how long I was going to stay. I didn’t want to pay the two dollars if I wasn’t staying so I decided I was going to leave. In some weird way I felt defeated but I knew it made sense. As I’m discussing my exit with Sue a small door Nazi explains to me in an ever so feminine lisp that he wants me to either check my coat or leave because he cannot keep an eye on my and the door at the same time. I looked by the door and saw no one. I was clearly a menace to him. So not to upset the gentleman any more I decided to get Sue’s number so that we could all hook up another time. Unfortunately I wasn’t granted enough time to do this. The Door man Nazi was adamant now telling me not to piss him off and to leave immediately or check my coat. It was then I took my queue and disappeared into the night back home.
There you have it folks. First time inside a gay bar and I get kicked out for not checking my coat fast enough. I must be incredibly sexy. Too bad it doesn’t work that way in the other clubs.

I apologize because I know this has been a long post but don’t fret, it is nearly at its completion. My Friend Pam turned me on to yet another awesome thing. Dr. Steel and his wonderful music and message. This man is amazing! He dresses like a mad scientist from the 1940s and his music fits that very description. Pam, I’m your slave forever if you wish it simply for the amount of awesome I’ve been exposed to because of you!

Last thing.

I’m planning my trip to Ontario to visit some friends in March. Its been 2 years, way too long to have myself deprived of my friends wonderful company out there. My heart is filled with so much joy at the thought.

Thanks so much for reading, now go do something interesting instead of reading this dribble! I for one, am going to sleep and am going to dream some dreamy dreams.

I love you!.........maybe……

Low Down

I'd Write more about New Years and some stuff before that but for now I found a song. It's Lyrics time again and Tom Waits just described my dream girl. H.P. Lovecraft did too.....

I'll show you both here and now. Lets see what you think.

Tom Waits - Low Down

She's a crooked Sheriff in a real straight town
She opened the door shake shake the lights go down
Clover honey and the Jimson Weed
Red leather skirt way up above her knees
Oh yeah, my baby's lowdown

She's a gone lost dirt road
There ain't no way back I been told
Well she's a story they all tell
She's a rebel, she's a yell
Oh yeah, my baby's lowdown

White heat in a cold rain
I'm a mergin here in your mergin lane
Jockey La Fayette, Big Eyed Al
The second hand moon's shining for my gal

She's a big red flag in a mean bullpen
She'll steal it from you, sell right
Back to you again
Well she's a whild rose, she's not settled
Cold gun of ice blue metal
Oh Yeah My baby's lowdown

White heat in a cold rain
I'm a mergin here in your mergin lane
Jockey la Fayette, Big Eyed Al
The Second hand Moon is shining for my gal

She's a cheap motel with a burned out sign
She'll take care of you definitely every time
She got a stolen check book and leg's up to here
Singing into a hairbrush
Right in front of the mirror
Oh yeah, my baby's lowdown

--------------

And now for the second bit.

-------------

H.P. Lovecraft - Nathicana

It was in the pale garden of Zais;
The mist-shrouded gardens of Zais,
Where blossoms the white naphalot,
The redolent herald of midnight.
There slumber the still lakes of crystal,
And streamlets that flow without murm'ring;
Smooth streamlets from caverns of Kathos
Where broodth the calm spirits of twilight.
And over the lakes and the streamlets
Are bridges of pure alabaster,
White bridges all cunningly carven
With figures of fairies and daemons.
Here glimmer strange suns and strange planets,
And strange is the crescent Bnapis
That sets 'yong the ivy-grown ramparts
Where thicken the dusk of the evening.
Here fall the white vapours of Yabon;
And here in the swirl of vapours
I saw the divine Nathicana;
The garlanded, white Nathicana;
The slow-eyed, red-lipped Nathicana;
The silver-voiced, sweet Nathicana;
The plae-rob'd, belov'd Nathicana.
And ever was she my beloved,
From ages when time was unfashioned
Now anything fashion'd but Yabon.
And here dwelt we ever and ever,
The innocent children of Zais,
At peace in the paths and the arbours,
White-crowned with the blest nephalote.
How oft would we float in the twilight
O'er flow'r-cover'd pastures and hillsides
All white with the lowly astalthon;
The lowly yet lovely astalthon,
And dream in a world made of dreaming
The dreams that are fairer than Aidenn;
Bright dreams that are truer than reason!
So dreamed and so lov'd we thro' ages,
Till came the cursed season of Dzannin;
The daemon-damn'd season of Dzannin;
When red shone the suns and the planets,
And red leamed the crescent Banapis,
And red fell the vapours of Yabon.
Then redden'd the blossoms and streamlets
And lakes that lay under the bridges,
And even the calm alabaster
Glowed pink with uncanny reflections
Till all the carv'd fairies and daemons
Leer'd redly from the backgrounds of shadow.
Now redden'd my vision, and madly
I strove to peer thro' the dense curtain
And glimpsed the divine Nathicana;
The pure, ever-pale Nathicana;
The lov'd, the unchang'd Nathicana.
But vortex on vortex of madness
Beclouded my labouring vision;
My damnable, reddening vision
That built a new world for my seeing;
Anew world of redness and darkness,
A horrible coma call'd living
So now in this come call'd living
I view the bright phantons of beauty;
The false hollow phantoms of beauty
That cloak all the evils of Dzannin.
I view them with infinite longing,
So like do they seem to my lov'd one:
Yet foul for their eyes shines their evil;
Their cruel and pitilessevil,
More evil than Thaphron and Latgoz,
Twice ill fro its gorgeous concealment.
And only in slumbers of midnight
Appears the lost maid Nathicana,
The pallid, the pure Nathicana
Who fades at the glance of the dreamer.
Again and again do I seek her;
I woo with deep draughts of Plathotis,
Deep draughts brew'd in wine of Astarte
And strengthen'd with tears of long weeping.
I yearn for the gardens of Zais;
The lovely, lost garden of Zais
Where blossoms the white nephalot,
The redolent herald of midnight.
The last potent draught am I brewing;
A draught that the daemons delight ih;
A drught that will banish the redness;
The horrible coma call'd living.
Soon, soon, if I fail not in brewing,
The redness and madness will vanish,
And deep in the worm-people'd darkness
Will rot the base chains that hav bound me.
Once more shall the gardens of Zais
Dawn white on my long-tortur'd vision,
And there midst the vapours of Yabon
Will stand the divine Nathicana;
The deathless, restor'd Nathicana
Whose like is not met with in living.

------------------

Mix those two things and I'm in heaven...even though Mr. Lovecraft wasn't the sanest indavidual, he paints such a lovely picture with words.

An update is comming soon...until then.......

Meat is Murder..Tasty...Tasty...Murder.

Not much new to report, except that my Internet station is up an running again. 220 hours of Gothic/Industrial/Punk/Metal/Silliness without repeating a song. Bloody brilliant!

How do you get there? Well..

Go to www.shoutcast.com

Search for "Nightmares, Whispers, and Screams"

Once you find it you can listen. It works better with Winamp than anything else mind.

Other than that, nothing new here except for weariness. I need sleep....

Peace Out Bitches.