How I Came To Spend $120 on an Air Guitar

Greetings Fiends and Clubbed Ones.

I'm going to take the topic of evil off the board for this post to tell you a very important story. You know, no matter how smart you are, once in a while you do something so mind bogglingly stupid that you really wonder how it is you can operate water with out a manual.

This is a story about how stupid I was at one point. Some of you will say to yourselves" I can relate to that.." While most of you will just read this and laugh your ass off at me. Either way I'm putting myself on the proverbial cross and hope you never ever do something this dumb ass.

Here we go!

About 8 months ago I was living in an apartment with my room mate and long time good friend Adam. While I was living there I met this man. I met him while I was out going to the store and I saw him playing outside with his kid.
He mentioned to me that I looked just like Ozzy Osbourne, a comment that I have gotten regularly through out the years. I said"Thanx man" and we got to talking about music.

I mentioned that I was a musician and he suddenly sprang to letting me know he had a few keyboards to sell, two to be exact.

I Like Keyboards.

I mentioned that to him and I asked how much he could part with them for. He said he had to talk to"The Wife" about it first but he could let them both go he thought for about $70..I thought that was a pretty flippen sweet price for two so I told him where my apartment was(as we lived in the same building) and he would bring them over for inspection and payment in an hour or two.

And so about an hour later there he was, at my doorstep with 2 cheap ass keyboards. They were decent for the price, and they worked fine so I was happy that day. He gave me his number then and told me that we should hang out. I didn't really know if I wanted to hang out with the guy at this time as he was one of those stoner types. I don't have anything against pot, but this was the type of guy that had simple tastes like beer and sports. He's the type of guy you worked with on a construction job who always says things like"Fucken A Rights!". Watch the movie "FUBAR" and you'll see what I mean ;)

So that deal went through without a hitch. The good part comes next.

So a few months after that incident, I was sitting in my apartment with my room mate and long time good friend Adam, and my friend Brock who I had recently met at a social function for pretend sanguinests, when I heard a knock at the door. It was the keyboard guy. Interesting that he would just show up after a few months time but whatever. He said to me and my friends after I introduced them, that he had a friend with a guitar to sell.

I Like Guitars.

So I asked him how much and he told me his friend could part with it for about $100.

A working guitar for $100....What a sweet deal....At least I thought so....

I did have some extra cash from my tax return so I could afford it, hell why not.

So I axed him where it was. He said he had to take the money to his friends and that he would bring the guitar back in about an hour or so.

Now this sounded kinda shady to me starting at this point. What should I do?
I've done a deal with him once before and it went alright.....

My roommate and other friend were both there with me when he made the deal...And both of them are over six foot two...Adam is just as wide.....And I know where this guy lives. He also has a kid and a wife. He wouldn't be so stupid as to fuck me over would he? .......WOULD HE?!

Well it was then I decided to side with logic and chance. I gave him the money and waited.....In case your wondering about the title, I gave him an extra $20 he can keep just for bringing it to me.

One hour passes.....The 2....Then 3.......Then finally the whole night passes.

No Show.

Well he could have gotten held up somewhere so I'll give him till tomorrow.
That whole day went by.

No Show.

Well the day after that...I visited his residence. His wife answered telling me he was out and she didn't know when he'd be back....

Sounding better already huh;)

I told her about my dealings with her husband and that if he returns to tell him to ring me up.

Well the next day is when it hit. It was then I realized I got what I paid for.
An Air Guitar worth an amazing $120!

I called the cops the next day and they sent a constable over. I explained to him how dim witted I was about the whole thing and he was pretty good about it.
He went to visit the guy right then.
The guy wasn't in yet again but his wife was and she gave him some bogus story about her husband leaving the guitar at my doorstep the night before....Which was ofcourse complete shit as Adam and I were home all eve.

The officer said I could take em to court but also said it probably wouldn't be worth it. I shrugged and thanked the officer for his time.

Well you could imagine my friends and I had a few Ideas about what to do with this shit rag. We even went up to his flat for a few more visits...As I was moving out in a month and the bastard wouldn't know where to find me. Alas he wasn't home either time and it was then that I took it as a lesson.

I fool and his money are soon parted. True enough for I was a fool that day, but let me tell you...If that dude makes any more deals like that in the future....He'll be worse off then me. In fact, if I ever see him again......Well...Lets just say theirs going to be some revenge...A dish best saved often...For those deserving.

Dig It.