A Tribute to all us D&D geeks

Everybody's Free (To Wear Stoneskin)

Ladies and gentlemen, of the Wizards college of '99 Cast Stoneskin.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future Stoneskin would be it
The long term benefits of stoneskin have been proved by mages. Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own, Meandering experience

I will dispense this advice Now

Enjoy the power and beauty of your first level. Never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your first level until you've reached 30th.
But trust me In twenty years, you'll look back at character sheets of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really were

You are not as munchkin as you imagine

Don't worry about chronomancy. Or worry, but know that chronomancy is as effective as trying to solve The Tomb of Horrors by throwing in a dagger. The real troubles in your life are apt to be psionicists that cross your worried mind.The kind that mind probe you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday

Attack one monster, everyday, that scares you

Dancing Lights

Don't be reckless with other people's magic items Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours

Fireball

Don't waste your time on rules Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind The race is long, and in the end, it's only with your DM
Remember the platinum pieces you receive Forget the coppers If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old spell scrolls Throw away your old potions

Polymorph

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you wanna do with your life The most interesting people I know didn't know at first level what they wanted to do with their lives Some of the most interesting demi-gods I know still don't
Get plenty of treasure Be kind to your party, you'll miss them when they're gone

Maybe you'll get poisoned Maybe you won't Maybe you'll get life drained Maybe you won't Maybe you'll reach 40th levelMaybe you'll do Otto's irresistible dance on your 75th wedding anniversary Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much Or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance So are everybody else's

Enjoy your spell book Use it every way you can Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it It's the greatest item you'll ever own

Magic Missile

Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room Read the directions, even if you don't follow them Do not read clerical books, they will only make you take damage.

Get to know your party You never know when they'll be gone for good Be nice to your familiars They're your best link to your past And the creatures most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that adventurers come and go But with a precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in Greyhawk and the Forgotten Realms 'Cause the higher level you get The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in the Abyss once, but leave before it makes you hard Live in Mount Celestia once, but leave before it makes you soft

Planewalk

Accept certain inalienable truths Levels will rise, rogues will philander You too will get old, and when you do You'll fantasize that when you were young Character classes were reasonable, Paladins were noble And munchkins respected their elders
Respect your trainers Don't expect anyone else to teleport you
Maybe you'll kill a Tanar'ri Maybe you'll kill a wealthy Dragon But you never know when either one might come back
Don't mess too much with your haste spells Or by the time you're 40 you will look 85
Be careful of whose equipment you buy But be patient with those who supply it Advice is a form of nostalgia Dispensing it, is a way of fishing the past from the disposal Wiping it off Painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth

But trust me on the stoneskin